A Swordsman's Downfall
by Amaxing
Summary: It's been out a while, so I decided to change the summary! A ZoroxRobin fic with little to no fluff, a really evil enemy, and a danceoff! Don't ask.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. Oda-sensei is the genius behind that. I just hope I don't take any terrible liberties with this...

Prologue

I've gone soft.

No, seriously, I have.

I know what your thinking. You don't believe me, do you? No, the demonic pirate hunter Zoro could _never_ go soft.

I'd like to believe that myself. But I can't. Because I'm not an evil, demonic, pirate hunter anymore. I've gone soft, and I'll tell you why.

I suppose if I had to blame any one person, I'd be that idiotic, optimistic captain of ours, Monkey D. Luffy. It's his fault I'm on this ship in the first place. He's the one that brought _her_ aboard. And, believe it or not, he's the one that gave me the advice that caused me to turn soft.

The second-highest blame holder would have to be that shitty sous-chef, Sanji. If he hadn't done all this Good Samaritan, nakama crap, things wouldn't have turned out the way they had. But no, the one time in my life that I don't want his kindness, he's my best friend. Sometimes I think he did it on purpose, just to piss me off.

Third place would have to go to that conniving, thieving witch-woman, Nami. If hadn't been for her kindness and all that crap, I wouldn't be sitting here telling you this right now.

I suppose Usopp deserves _some_ credit for it. He gave me the skills I needed to face her, impress her, make her think twice. Amazing, huh? What kind of skills? I'll get to that later.

And then there's Chopper. Mr. jump-to-conclusions. Nearly got the entire crew into civil war, that little blue-nosed freak did. But, looking back, I guess he was just a guy looking out for his friend. I should have realized that. But I didn't.

The only innocent one is Franky. I mean, sure, he did do a _little_ to help it along, but then some random guy on the street also did a little to help it along. Sorry man, but I just can't pin this on you.

Funny how you can get off topic when you don't even want to talk about things. I suppose I haven't even told you why I've gone soft, have I? I can sum it up in two words for you.

Nico

Robin

That deceptive, two-timing, double-crossing, emotionless archaeologist.

Why is it all her fault? That's kind of embarrassing for me to explain...

You see, after our little "raid" on Enies Lobby, I stopped worrying about her betraying us so much. I mean, she'd done it once already, how bad could it be if it happened again. So I let my guard down. Big mistake. Probably the biggest I've ever made in my life.

I started to notice things about Robin. I could fill entire books with all the little things, but not only would that take too long, It'd also make me look like a pathetic love struck fool. And I wouldn't appreciate being put on the same level as Sanji.

Basically, when it boils right down to it, I started to appreciate having Robin around more. I actually enjoyed her company for a change. She seemed like a no-nonsense kind of person, and I respected that (even if she did drink _way_ too much coffee.)

Then one day, something happened that made me realize I liked her. It's a funny story actually. You'll probably want to know all about how it happened and all that Romeo kind of crap, but y'know what? I really don't care. It's not something I feel very comfortable telling. I've gone soft, it's true, but I'm no romantic sentimentalist.

So begins my corny, pathetic tale.

I _have_ gone soft, and I'll prove it even if I have to stuff it down your throat.


	2. Luffy: Wise?

Disclaimer: I dont' own One Piece, even if I wish I did. Oda-sensei is awesome and I dont want him to sue me.

Luffy:Wise?

I told you earlier that Luffy gave me advice.

Well, he did. Shocking, I know. I was almost taken aback by the amount of wisdom that could come out of the idiot's mouth.

I figured since I've already told you the background and you've most likely read about the Enies Lobby incident in the newspapers, I'll skip all that. That, and I just really don't feel like talking all that much.

So, anyway, soon after my giant realization that I had some affection towards Robin, I went looking for advice.

You can laugh, but I've never had all that much experience with girls. I've spent most of my years practicing with my swords, trying to keep a promise to the closest friend I'd ever had. But that's another story. One that I'm _really _uncomfortable talking about (as if I'm not unconfortable already.)

I'm off topic again. I tend to do that. That's probably bad, since all this talking is making me sleepy. So I'm gonna take a nap now.

Luckily, there's a narrator.

Good Night.

Narration

The famous, demonic, ex-pirate-hunter zoro was in trouble. BIG trouble. What kind? He was in love. Bad. Especially for one who's supposed to be an emotionless rock among a sea of hyper, emotion-filled idiots. (Bad analogy, but you get the idea.)

So, naturally, the first thing he did was seek advice. And who did he turn to in his time of need? His best friend of course. (and also the person least likely to remember the conversation afterwards) Monkey D. Luffy.

(information you already know ends here)

Monkey D. Luffy sat atop the figurehead of his new ship, the Thousand Suns. True, it wasn't as nice as the seat on the Merry Go, but he was warming up to it, none the same. He knew they were at see. Sailing for an island that Nami's Lock Post said would be there. An island full of adventures to be had. And that was the only thing he needed to make him happy.

Roronoa Zoro walked up behind him, marveling at how stupid his best friend and captain could be. For being a devil fruit user, he sure wasn't afraid of falling in. He'd proven that often enough.

"Hey", said Zoro, lacking any better way of greeting Luffy.

"Hi Zoro!" the captain said back enthusiactically, "Nice day huh?"

"I dunno" he replied "Nami said it might rain later."

"Nah, she has to be wrong, there's not a cloud in the sky!"

"Is she _ever_ wrong?"

"Well...no, not really."

"Exactly."

This put Luffy in a bad mood. If one faced the ship head on, he could see his almost-comical pout playing across his face.

"Hey, there was something I wanted to ask you Luffy...", said Zoro cautiously.

"Well, go ahead, I'll help if I can!"

Zoro smiled. Same old Luffy. Always looking out for his nakama.

"Yeah, um... I was wondering... " Zoro asked nervously "do you have any experience with...um...dating?"

"Zoro" the captain replied "I respect you and all, but, I'm NOT GAY"

"NEITHER AM I!!!" screamed Zoro. "I MEANT DATING _WOMEN_ YA MORON!!!!!"

"O, sorry, why didn't you say so?"

"I DIDN'T THINK I'D HAVE TO CLARIFY, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE!!

"Oy, Zoro, Calm down!" said Luffy. "it was an innocent misunderstanging!"

Zoro sighed. This was stupid. Why did he even think Luffy had experience with girls in the first place? He berated himself silently. He should have just sucked up his pride and gone to Sanji in the first place. He may be an idiot, but he had to admit he'd never seen him go through a town without a girl on his arm.

"Alright" continued Luffy "Let me tell you something about women Zoro, their different than men."

"YOU THINK?" yelled Zoro.

"Calm down for heaven's sake, I didn't mean that as a general case thing. I mean they act different. Respond differently than guys would. For example, you can't go up to a girl who's having problems and say "What the hells wrong with you" like you would to a guy. All that would earn you is a slap in the face."

Zoro was in shock. His captain had actually made sense. Was this really Luffy?

"Furthermore" continued Luffy (another surprise, Zoro hadn't known that Luffy knew what furthermore meant. In reality, he didn't, but the effect was good anyway.) "Women can always tell if you're trying to hide something. Kind of like how Makino always used to know when I was stealing food from her pantry."

"Who's Makino?" asked Zoro, forgetting his quest for knowledge for a moment.

"I'll tell ya later, this is important." Luffy replied. (again, a shock, Luffy has stayed on topic.) "The thing you really have to remember is to not fake anything. Dont respond to a situation any differently than you would normally just because she's around. That's letting her control you, and that's even worse than being hated by her." Luffy smiled. He was glad that he knew something Zoro didn't for a change. It made him feel just a bit more like a captain.

"Um yeah, thanks for the advice and stuff Luffy, but...how do I _ask one of them out?"_ Zoro was keen to know Luffy's insight on this one. He thought that if his advice had been good thus far, he'd be able to really think up a good way to ask Robin out.

Unfortunately, Luffy was fated to disappoint the swordsman. "Sorry buddy" he said "I've never asked a girl out in my life. Too busy becoming king of the pirates and all."

Zoro smacked his forehead in disbelief. Why him? He sighed. "I guess I'll have to talk to that crap-cooker after all" he thought.

"Thanks for the advice anyway, Luffy, Ill keep it in mind." He turned and started to head towards the galley.

"HEY ZORO!" Luffy called after him. The swordman turned around, confused.

"This is about Robin, isn't it?" Luffy said with a knowing look in his eye (rare for him).

If Zoro was confused before, he was completely lost now. "HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?" he screamed.

"Calm down!" Luffy said. "It was just a lucky guess. That and the fact that you're as subtle as Yokozumo ramming a train." (yet another shock, since when did Luffy know how analogies worked?)

"Well, to be quite honest...yeah." he replied. "Why'd you wanna know?"

"Nothing really, I just wanted to see how you'd react if I guessed right."

Zoro shook his head and headed back towards the galley. Good advice? Long words? Messing with people? What was with Luffy all of a sudden? He reminded himself that after he had talked to Sanji, he'd drop by Chopper's room and have him check up on Luffy.

That's Chapter one. It's longer than I thought. If there are any men out there reading this, I'm happy. It means I'm not the only guy who secretly reads romantic fanficiton. Ahh...I didn't just say that. You didn't here me just say that.


	3. Wait, Since when is Sanji friendly?

Disclaimer: I don't' own One piece, you know that by now.

Wait, since when is Sanji friendly?

So, after my failed attempt at asking Luffy for advice, I decided to suck up my pride and go ask that idiot Sanji for help. (If that's not proof enough that I was going soft, nothing is.)

Sanji. Where to begin. Of all the people I consider my nakama, he's the one I hate the most. Always butting in where he's no wanted, trying to impress the ladies, talking all the time like he's God's gift to women for goodness sake.

It's not like he ever did anything to try to be friendly to being with. He saw me as an "anti-gentleman" or something like that. Always attacking me whenever I insulted Nami. Always giving me stern looks when he caught me looking at Robin.

He knew. I knew he knew. He would never tell me he knew, but he knew none the same. He could tell somehow, even if he was, really, a hopeless fool.

Or maybe not so hopeless. Whenever we stopped at an island, he _did _always seem to have a girl on his arm. I suppose that's why I went to him in the first place...

Narration

Sanji was in the galley preparing lunch when he got the surprise of his life. In walked Zoro, his arch-nemesis, the anti-gentleman he had sworn to protect the girls from, asking for his help.

Sanji was dumbstruck. Literally. He stared into space, unable to speak or move.

"HEY" yelled Zoro, snapping his fingers in Sanji's face "Wake up will ya? I said, can you help me?"

"I know that," snapped Sanji, annoyed at the swordsman's audacity. "It just doesn't sound right coming from your mouth that's all."

"Tell me about it" Zoro rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe he was doing this. What was that archaeologist turning him into?

"Right" said Sanji "Now that we've agreed on that...what do you need help with.?"

" I want to ask Robin out," said Zoro bluntly.

Sanji was dumbstruck. Literally. Again. Who was this talking to him? It couldn't be Zoro. Zoro didn't ask for help. Zoro didn't _like women._ Did he? To be honest, he'd never actually gone through the trouble to find out. He'd just assumed from the way he treated his Nami-san that he didn't exactly have enough olives to make a martini, but he'd never actually asked what his...em..._orientation_ was, to be polite.

"HEY" yelled Zoro, "Would you stop doing that to me? It gets annoying _really_ fast."

"Sorry", said Sanji (Wait, I apologize to Zoro now? he thought. That's new.)

"Whatever" said Zoro. He was starting to lose his patience. Whatever little that he had. "As long as you can give me some decent advice you can save you apologies."

"Right. Well you made the right choice and everything, coming to me... I mean I _am_ the world's greatest gentleman. But when did you realize that?"

"Shut up"

"Tell me or I wont help you"

"AGH" yelled Zoro. It was hard enough groveling to this guy, nut now he was asking for a _compliment _for goodness sake. He couldn't do it. He wouldn't do it. But he had to do it.

"I don't know.." Zoro began "You just always seem to be surrounded by women, that's all."

**"You just always seem to be surrounded by women, that's all**." He heard echoed back. Zoro looked up in dismay to see Sanji smiling, holding a voice dial in his hand.

_"Oooh boy_, the blackmail I can get with this" said Sanji, amused.

"ILL KILL YOU, YOU JERK!!" starting to draw Yubashiri.

It was, of course, at that moment, that Nico Robin decided to go into the kitchen and get a cup of coffee. She saw Zoro and Sanji about to fight _again_ and rolled her eyes. "Will you two _ever_ grow up?" she asked in a stern, reprimanding voice. In reality, she actually enjoyed watching Sanji and Zoro duke it out from time to time, but if she couldn't even get a cup of coffee in peace, well, that was just annoying.

"Yes Robin-chan" said Sanji, purposely trying to instigate Zoro. When he looked to see the swordsman's reaction, however, he found that he had been completely ignored. He was looking at Robin, and, although his face remained cold and unemotional, Sanji could tell that he was different somehow.

Robin obviously noticed as well. She walked up to Zoro and waved her hand in front of his face. "HellOOO" she said playfully. "Anyone home?"

"Get away from me, woman." Zoro responded coldly. He immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say; especially to someone he was trying to get to like him. But this is Zoro we're talking about. He's not exactly the most _tactful_ person in the world.

Robin flinched. Not noticeably, but it was there. What was wrong with him? All she ever did was try to be nice to this guy, and all he ever did was stay behind that cold, emotionless mask. Much like she had for years. She guessed that it was that cold, hard exterior that made her kind of like Zoro. It was that that made it hurt all the more.

Robin put on her best fake-smile. It was easy really. Years of being in a secret organization will do that to a person. It would have worked to, if she hadn't let out a short sob after she left the galley. A record show of emotions for Nico Robin. Perhaps _she_ was going soft too.

Sanji and Zoro were both silent for a while. Then Sanji leaned back into his chair. "Well, _that_ went well didn't it?" he said sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up," snapped Zoro. He was angry as hell. And hurt. And, a first for him, ashamed of what he'd just done.

"You see that?" Sanji said. "It's that kind of attitude that makes women avoid you. Try showing some sensitivity for a change, you'd be surprised how far it can get you."

Zoro thought about it. Showing sensitivity was something foreign to him, but, the again, this entire thing was foreign to him, so why not? "Yeah" he admitted "you're probably right Sanji."

**"Yeah, you're probably right Sanji." **He heard echoed back. To his dismay, Zoro looked up to find Sanji holding _another_ voice dial in his hand.

"WHY YOU..." Zoro began. But he stopped. Sanji was actually helping him for a change. He wasn't going to mess it up now. "So" he said softly "What should I do now?" Because he really did have no clue what to do. Lack of common sense is a pretty bad disease to have.

"THINK Marimo head, use your brain. Acting how you normally do around women is how you hurt her, so do something that normal isn't like you."

Zoro thought. Something different from normal? It struck him in one glorious (and uncharacteristic) stroke of inspiration.

"Apologize?" he asked.

Sanji, for some reason, was suddenly dressed like the host of a children's television show. "YAY! YOU SAID THE SECRET WORD!!!" he screamed as "Apologize" flashed in midair.

Sanji returned to normal. "No one saw that right?" he asked.

"Nah, I don't think so." Zoro replied.

"Good" Sanji sighed in relief. "If the guys found out about that... I don't know what I'd do."

"Don't worry, your secrets safe with me," Zoro said as he got up to go talk to Robin. "Thanks again."

As Zoro walked away from the galley, he grinned. He unclenched his hand to reveal a voice dial. He pressed it. **YAY!! YOU SAID THE SECRET WORD!!!" **it rang. Sanji wasn't the only one who could use blackmail.

That's chapter two. Gosh, these take longer to write then I thought. Send me a review or something. I'd hate to think I was doing al this writing for nothing. (Although, I guess it wouldn't be _too_ bad)


	4. I was trying to apologize

Disclaimer: Oda-sensei wrote one piece. I am not Oda-sensei. Hence, I did not write One piece, and I don't own it either.

I was _trying_ to apologize...

I've never been all that good at apologies, regrets, and all that other sentimental nonsense.

True, I had to apologize to my sensei and fellow students when I was growing up in the dojo, but there were set words for that. It didn't even really have to be one of those emotional heartfelt things, you would just say the words, admit your wrongs and that would be that.

But I could tell that just saying a few bland, emotionless words wouldn't work this time. I guess I didn't want it to be like that either. Truth be told, I just wouldn't feel good about apologizing to that woman if I didn't put _some_ emotion into it.

Which is why it was so frickin' hard I suppose...

Narration

Roronoa Zoro quickly walked the deck of the Thousand Suns until he reached the door to the women's quarters. He raised his hand and prepared to knock on the door, but stopped himself. What was he going to say? He'd never given a good, heartfelt apology before, and it was throwing him off something awful.

"I'm sorry for acting normal" No, that sounded too sarcastic. "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings" No, that was too childish. "I'm sorry for being a thickhead" No, that was too insulting to himself.

Zoro sighed. There was no point in going back now, even if he didn't have a clue what to say. He knocked on the door.

"Go away!" Came a voice from inside. A voice that (you could probably guess) belonged to Robin.

Zoro knocked again. "I said _go away!" _Robin yelled. This wasn't like her. Usually, she wouldn't allow her emotions to get the better of her. But the time she had spent with the Straw Hats had changed that. Add that to the fact that deep down, the last person she wanted to be hurt by was Zoro and you could kind of see why she had reached a breaking point.

Zoro stamped him foot in frustration. Why did it have to be this hard? He was trying to be _nice_ for a change, and that dang woman had to make it more difficult for him. As if it wasn't difficult enough already.

He raised his hand to knock again. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." A voice spoke from behind him. Zoro turned and saw Nami standing there, looking at him with one of her smug, "If you don't listen to me, you're gonna be sorry" faces.

"And why not?" asked Zoro.

"Well, if you didn't figure it out from the way she yelled at you, she's in a bad mood" replied the navigator.

"No, really? I hadn't noticed." replied Zoro sarcastically. "That's why I'm here, I put her in this bad mood, I came to apologize."

"Really?" asked Nami, eyeing Zoro suspiciously. "That doesn't seem like you." "Are you sure there isn't some sort of ulterior motive to this?"

Zoro didn't answer. Partly because he was annoyed by Nami's smug attitude, and partly because he didn't know what ulterior meant.

"Y'know" Nami said slyly "I'd be willing to go in there and try to calm her down for ya."

"Really?" said Zoro, starting to like the orange-haired thief a lot better.

"Well... yeah...for a fee" Nami said, winking at Zoro.

Zoro cursed. Why, of all people, did Luffy had to pick this witch-woman as his navigator? "NAMI-SAN IS NOT A WITCH-WOMAN" a voice came from the galley. Apparently, Sanji could read minds.

Zoro rolled his eyes. "No thanks" he said. "I can handle this one on my own."

"Awwww" said Nami. "They grow up so _fast. _Now you be a good boy and go make things right."

"I swear, I'll kill you one of these days." growled Zoro.

"Love ya too Zoro" she said, and walked away. "Oh! And Zoro?" she said, turning back."

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Well, I was just wondering... When you and Robin have a kid, can I be his godmother?"

Zoro stuttered. And sputted. And did many other vocal noises that illustrate confusion.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" He screamed.

"O nothing, nothing at all" she replied and with a sly wink, she was gone.

Zoro turned back to face the door. He wasn't focusing. This wasn't going to go well, he could tell. But it was too late to turn back. With all the screaming, Robin would have realized he was there by now, and if he didn't do _something_, there was a chance that he'd never have a chance. (Narrator: heh, I like that)

Zoro knocked on the door. "Robin" he said gently "let me in, its Zoro."

"O...Mr. Swordsman, its you?" Robin asked.

Zoro was about to scream, "YES IT'S ME" but was stopped by four pairs of hands grabbing him and bending him over backwards.

Robin stepped out of the door. Zoro had to admit, even when she was torturing him within an inch of death, she still looked pretty dang good.

"What are you here for?" she asked coldly "Did you come to see if I could really be upset by the likes of you? Are you relishing in your supposed victory over my "cold, heartless shell" as you call it?"

Zoro cringed. He had called it that. But that was before Enies Lobby. That was before he... the pain from the eight hands stopped him from thinking for very long.

"Well, I was _trying_ to say I was sorry" yelled Zoro "but you can forget it now!"

Robin gasped in shock. The eight hands disappeared, and Zoro fell to to the floor.

"You were...apologizing?" She asked quietly.

"Well, I _was_" Zoro said angrily.

Robin stood for a moment, thinking about what Zoro had just said. Then she smiled. "Thank You" she said mystically. Then she went back into her room and closed the door.

Zoro lay on the floor for almost an hour. "What just happened here?" he thought to himself. Finally, he realized that what he had said must have merited an apology status, and he should probably get off the floor before someone found him there and thought he was weird. So he did.

Robin lay in her bed, thinking about what has just happened. "Zoro apologized? To me? Does that mean anything?" She wished it did. She hoped to all that was holy that it did. But, seeing as she couldn't prove it did, she decided to let it drop for now. A smile crossed her lips as she drifted off to sleep.

That's chapter three. I know, It didn't end with a somewhat funny scene, I'm ashamed of myself. Thanks to my editor (oh wait, that's me) for taking the time to read this stuff. Also thanks to boredom for giving me the motivation to write this stuff.


	5. News from the Navigator

Disclaimer: My name is not Oda-Sensei, but I wrote this message anyway. (I DONT OWN ONE PIECE)

News from the Navigator

If I were honest with you, I'd have to say that Nami isn't actually all that bad.

When she's the only other one in the room anyway. When the others are around, she reverts to the whole conniving, thieving, witch-woman mode, but sometimes she's actually all right to talk to.

Don't get me wrong I still absolutely hate her. But less than Sanji. And to such little extent that I actually liked her a little. Sometimes.

Especially when Nami would come see me during my night watch duties. Get your mind out of the gutter; it's nothing like that. Sometimes she'd just sit out with me and talk. About anything. Current events. The weather. Cartography. The weather. And, more often than anything, the weather. It was some of the only times where I ever caught her being one hundred percent honest, and I actually enjoyed it.

So, really, it seems only natural she'd come to talk to me that night after the whole "incident" I mentioned earlier...

Narration

"Mind if I join you?" asked the orange-haired navigator to the green-haired swordsman.

Zoro grunted. It was his traditional way of saying "yes." That, and he still ached all over from the whole "Eight flower clutch" thing.

It was nighttime, and Zoro was on night watch duty. Normally he would be sleeping until someone woke him up, but tonight he couldn't sleep. A rare case for Roronoa Zoro. There were too many things to think about.

Nami climbed into the crow's nest and sat across from Zoro. She noticed that his eyes, normally so focused and alert, now stared, almost dreamily, out at the sky.

"Watcha thinkin' about?" She asked. As if she didn't already know.

"What do you think?" He asked back. He knew she knew. If that Idiot cook Sanji and even _Luffy_ were smart enough to know, then she would have to know.

"Well, not like I'm an _expert_ or anything" she said knowingly "But I'd hazard a guess that you're thinkin' about a certain archaeologist, eh?"

"Bulls eye, you could be Usopp for all I know."

Nami blushed. Zoro cocked his head and started to ask something, but then decided to let it go.

"Well, _anyway_" Nami continued. "I think it's sweet that you apologized to her. It showed her that you care."

"Bah" said Zoro "sweet, that's the _last_ thing I need to be."

"O c'mon" said Nami, punching him playfully on the shoulder. "You can't _seriously_ have thought you could go through life with having _some_ kind of feelings for someone right?"

Zoro remained silent.

"Right?" Nami repeated weakly. When Zoro still didn't respond, she gave a slight "oh" and frowned. Sometimes she didn't understand how idiotic Zoro could be.

"Well, it's not that I didn't think I'd ever _like_ anyone" said Zoro suddenly "I just didn't think it would make me so dang _weak_ that's all."

"Weak" asked Nami, surprised "how does liking Robin make you weak?"

"You wouldn't understand" said Zoro matter-of-factly.

"Try me" said Nami, amused.

"I really don't feel like it. If I told you all about how I feel every time I'm around her, I'd start to sound like Sanji" he eyed Nami "and I _don't _want to stoop to that idiot's level. He doesn't seem like a very good role model to me."

"Yeah, I could see that. He _does_ get annoying sometimes, even if the only thing he does is try to make my life easier." She smiled a toothy smile that would rival Luffy's. "Aw well! Better for me, worse for you I guess."

"Understanding, yeah, that's what I'd call it." Zoro mused. He hadn't been listening really. His thoughts had been somewhere else. With a certain raven-haired female.

Nami smiled again. It was fun to see Zoro like this. It almost made him seem...human.

"Zoro..." she began.

"Yeah?" he asked roughly.

"If you ever...want any help...with Robin just ask me."

"Zoro blinked. "Really?" he asked, surprised.

"Yeah, I'll help in whatever way I can...for a fee" she winked.

Zoro smacked his head. And here he thought Nami was actually _not_ being a witch-woman for once.

Nami laughed. "I'm just kidding." She said. Zoro smiled. It was good to have nakama at a time like this.

"I heard that you were looking for a way to go out with Robin." she said.

Zoro sighed. That idiot chef really couldn't keep his mouth shut could he?

"And I just thought you'd like to know" she continued, "That the island we're going to land at next is Ontaria."

"Why should I care about that?" Zoro asked, confused. (He's confused a lot, ain't he?)

"Because its more common name is _Disco Ball City._" she said, as if everyone was supposed to know that. "It's the most famous island for dancing in the Grand Line."

"And...again... Why should I care about that?" Zoro asked, still confused.

This time it was Nami's turn to sigh. "You really are hopeless, aren't you? Think Zoro. _Dancing._ Date with Robin. Dancing. Date with Robin. Dancing. What ideas are going through your head?"

Zoro thought. Then it hit him. "You think I should ask Robin to dance when we get there?"

Nami suddenly assumed the guise of a game show host. "CONGRATULATIONS, you just guess the secret phrase! Tell him what he's one Bob!"

"Who's Bob?" Zoro asked

Nami fell over in disbelief. "It's a joke, you thickhead."

"O... ok. Well it wasn't funny." Zoro said critically.

Nami sighed. "Whatever." she said, climbing down from the crow's nest.

"Hey Nami..." Zoro called after her.

She turned her head back up to him. "Yeah?"

"Thanks"

Nami smiled. "Nothin' to it."

As Nami climbed down the crow's nest, she shook her head with wonder. Zoro, being grateful? This really wasn't like him. "All the better" she decided to herself "I like the human Zoro better anyway." She made her way back to the women's quarters and, finding Robin asleep already, went to sleep.

Zoro smiled to himself. Nami wasn't really that bad _all_ of the time. She was the only person who'd been able to give him halfway decent advice thus far... then he stopped. A horrible realization wiped the smile off of his face.

I CAN'T DANCE!!!

That's chapter four. Another one that turned out _way_ longer than expected. I always realize that I've been using the italics _way_ too often. But hey, that's _my style. _So _live_ with it.


	6. Ussop can dance?

Disclaimer: I don't own one piece, and I don't think I ever will.

Usopp: King of Lying, King of Sniping, King of...Dancing?

I was in trouble.

You probably guessed that by now.

I needed dancing lessons fast. So, I turned to the only guy I knew who was somewhat artsy.

That's right, that sail painting, sharp shooting, king of lies. Usopp.

You _know_ I'm in trouble when I have to go to him for help...

Narration

Nighttime on the Thousand Suns. The waves lapped against the side of the ship as it headed towards the island of Ontaria. If one listened closely enough, he would think that the see was laughing. And it certainly had good reason to.

"Alright, turn, step, step, now dip me. DIP ME DANG IT!"

Usopp shouted directions as Zoro desperately tried to follow them. They had been at it all evening, every since Zoro woke Usopp up after his talk with Nami.

Earlier that night...

"Hey, long nose, wake up." Zoro said.

Usopp rolled over. He muttered in his sleep. "One time... I was sailing... and...giant vulture... ate me...but I... and got out... because I'm a brave warrior of the sea! He crossed his arms and put on his famous tall-tale grin. Some things don't change, even during sleep.

Zoro laughed. Some things you just can't help but laugh at, even when you desperately need someone's help.

He prodded Usopp again. "Hey, Sogeking wake up!

Of course Usopp didn't wake up. But at the word Sogeking, he began to sing in his sleep "A thousand shots...a thousand hits...la la la la la..."

Zoro couldn't help but laugh. If only he had thought to bring a picture dial with him, he could have the whole thing on tape right now. Humor at its finest.

At least, it _was_ humorous, until, still enveloped in dreams of Sogeking, Usopp sprang from his bed and shot an exploding star into the air.

Zoro ducked just in time. The explosion rocked the entire room, but, miraculously, no one was hurt, even the walls were unscathed, except for having gunpowder all over them. Zoro looked up; surely Usopp must be awake by now.

"A thousand shots...a thousand hits... la la la la la..." Apparently not.

Zoro was mad. He grabbed Usopp by the shirt and lifted him out of bed with a single hand (which was pretty easy to do, considering the dumbbells he always trained with were at least 1000 pounds each.) "GET UP" he said menacingly.

Usopp woke with a start. "Oh" he said weakly "Hi Zoro."

Present time.

The lesson continued. Zoro led Usopp around the floor of the room, while Chopper (who, for some reason, was not only awake, but happened to be wandering about in the room that Zoro and Usopp had chosen to practice in) laughed and cheered.

Zoro frowned. Why was he doing this? This was idiotic. He could never and would never use these moves in public. At least, that's what he thought until Robin's face appeared in his head. He quickly shook it out of his head, averting his attention back to Usopp.

"TWIRL, STEP, STEP, NOW GRAPEVINE, YES I SAID GRAPEVINE! RAPPELL, RAPPELL, AND NOW: USSOP'S POSE OF VICTORY!!!!" As you could tell, Usopp was really getting into this.

"Good work Zoro!" said Usopp "You're really getting the hang of it... kind of." "You've earned yourself break. TAKE FIVE PEOPLE!"

Zoro, obediently, took his break. He fell to the floor, sweating and puffing. Why was this so dang hard? He could lift over 1000 pounds. He could swim in freezing cold water. He could _slice through metal_ for goodness sake. How was this any different, apart from it being less masculine?

"Tell me again," said Zoro "What _exactly_ are these steps supposed to be used for?"

"It's for _couples_ dancing." Usopp responded "So that you don't make a fool of yourself when you ask Robin to dance!"

Zoro would have been surprised the Usopp knew who he wanted to dance with. But, considering all that had happened today, he wasn't.

"Wait." said Zoro, realizing something. "You mean that to dance with her, I'll actually have to..._touch_ her?"

Usopp fell to the ground in disbelief. "YES, OF COURSE!" He yelled, forgetting whom he was talking to for a minute. "WHY DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN HAVING YOU LEAD ME AROUND AND STUFF, YOU THINK I _ENJOY_ IT?"

"Yeah Zoro." Chopper chimed in. "You don't think Usopp is _kay_ or anything do you?"

"That's "gay" Chopper" said Zoro.

"IT IS NOT, TAKE IT BACK!" said Chopper, changing into his giant, human form.

"I mean the _word_ is "gay" said Zoro with a sigh.

"Oops, sorry..." said Chopper, reverting back to his smaller form and dancing his weird embarrassed dance.

Usopp shook his head. "It's obvious you need more training. From the top people lets GO!"

They danced around the room again. Zoro was actually getting quite good. So good, in fact, that Usopp actually let him lead. For a few moments. Before they tripped and fell and Usopp realized that he should probably lead until later. _Much_ later.

They were still dancing together when who should walk in on them but a raven-haired archaeologist named Robin.

Her first reaction was shock. Then she began to giggle. Then, unable to control herself, she burst out laughing.

"Em... Mr. Swordsman..." began Robin. "Is there...something that you're hiding from me?" She hoped it wasn't what it looked like. She hoped to _God_ it wasn't what it looked like.

"It's not what it looks like!" Usopp began, meriting a sigh of relief from Robin "I was simply training Zoro so he'll be ready when he asks you..."

WHAM!! Zoro jumped on Usopp and held his face to the ground.

"Oops...em... sorry… Usopp...I tripped." said Zoro, lying the best he could. "I think what he was going to say was, he's training me so I'll be _better_ when I _challenge_ you to a dance off." He didn't know what made him say it. Stupidity, yes. Desperateness, hell yes. Common Sense? Probably not.

"Oh" replied the archaeologist, a smile creeping across her face. "You think you can beat me in dancing?

"Not just that, in anything." Zoro said coolly. Always show confidence in front of a woman. He'd learned that little tip from Sanji. (Wait, he was taking advice from Sanji now?)

"Hmmm." mused Robin. "Well, Miss Navigator says that the island we'll arrive at in a few days is famous for dancing. I suppose we can hold off our contest until we get there, no?"

"Oh, um, yeah, fine." replied Zoro, thanking whoever was up there for the extra time."

"Very well then. I'll see you then Mr. Swordsman." Then, she left, leaving Zoro as nervous as ever.

"Sro, gt ffa me, r crshng y skl"

"What?"

"SRO GT FFA ME, R CRSHNG Y SKL."

"O, jeez, sorry Usopp!" Zoro said as he leaped off Usopp quickly.

Usopp got up off the floor groaning, his nose seemingly broken, his face brusied all over."

"AAH" Chopper yelled. "DOCTOR! IS THERE A DOCTOR ON THE SHIP!? Oh, wait, I am the doctor."

That's Chapter 5. Yahoo! Thanks for all the reviews guys!


	7. Ontaria

Disclaimer: Hello. My name is not Oda-Sensei. I did not create One Piece. Prepare to not sue.

Island of Ontaria: Disco Ball City

To be quite honest, I didn't think I was going to like "DBC" (as I found out it was called) at all.

Quite frankly, any island with a nickname as corny as Disco Ball City _had_ to have something wrong with it.

But, to my surprise, I found I actually enjoyed DBC. For three reasons: Good music, free food, and scantily clad women dancing around everywhere. Paradise.

The only real problem was that with all the dancing and the constant THUMP of music, there really wasn't anywhere you could get a decent rest.

Well, that wasn't really a problem as much as an annoyance, but the _really_ big problem was the kind of people you _met_ at DBC.

But more on that later.

Narration

"LAND HO!" came a shout from the crow's nest of the Thousand Suns.

The Straw Hat pirate crew rushed out onto the deck of the ship (all except for Franky, who being on lookout, simply slid down the mast.). Then their excitement slowly began to fade (except for Nami's, who was the only one who knew what was going on.). No one dared to say anything, until Luffy, who couldn't stand there being silence for more than five minutes, spoke up.

"Em... Nami..."

"Yeah, Luffy?" The navigator replied.

"Em...Where's the island?"

"It's right there, can't you see it?"

"All I see is this giant metal dome sticking out of the water..."

"Well...that's the island."

"O..."

The crew was silent for a minute. Nami rolled her eyed. How could her crew be this simple minded?

"It's not very nice for being the supposed "Dancing Capitol of the Grand Line", is it?" asked Franky, breaking the silence.

Nami sighed. Did she really have to explain everything? "The island is _inside_ the dome," she said matter-of-factly.

More silence.

"So that _its always dark inside..."_ said Nami, hoping that someone would catch on.

Even more silence.

"Because the _disco ball is always in use" _

"Uh..." asked Chopper bravely, "Why does it have to be dark for the disco ball to be used?"

Nami smacked her head. How could their crew be so simple minded? Luckily, Robin had finally arrived, and could take over the demanding job of having the brain of the crew.

"Disco balls reflect light and redirect it so that it appears as shapes on dark surfaces," she explained. "The dome is there so that there's always a dark surface for the disco ball to reflect on."

"OOOOOOOOOOH" said all the men of the crew simultaneously.

"I get it," said Zoro (trying to sound like he really understood what was going on the whole time) "that way people can dance no matter what time of day it is."

"Yes, that's about right Mr. Swordsman," said Robin, smiling at him. "He really is clueless," she thought "but at least he covers it up well."

Zoro grinned. It was nice to be complimented for a change. Especially by Robin.

"Of course" Robin continued "that means that you won't have any extra time to practice for our little competition" she said with a small smile.

The grin froze on Zoro's face. He thought back to his lessons with Usopp, and how Usopp had, ever since after the first lesson, been coming to teach wearing shoulder pads, knee pads, thick sweaters, and a cup. He really hoped Usopp was exaggerating. It wouldn't be the first time.

"I'll be looking forward to it," he said, hoping that it sounded at least five times as confident as he felt. Of course, even that would be considered weak.

As the Thousand Suns neared the island, a door hewn into the metal opened. They were closed as soon as the ship was inside, to "maintain the effect for as long as possible" they found out later.

The town was perfectly designed for tourism. Hotels and restaurants lined the outskirts of the town, and perfectly straight, organized streets allowed easy access to anywhere. At the town center, the town's namesake disco ball could be seen, hanging from the dome, spinning and filling the streets with randomly shaped, multi-colored lights. A large crowd of people could be seen at the center of the city, dancing wildly to whatever was played.

"I'm gonna go find some adventure!" said Luffy, leaping off the ship before it even landed.

"I'll scout around for some cooking ingredients," said Sanji.

"I'll go sign up for a contest." Robin said, smiling at Zoro slightly as she walked off.

"I'll go see if there's a medicine store!" said Chopper.

"You mean a pharmacy? asked Nami politely.

"No, I mean a store that sells medicine" said Chopper "not a forest tree." Nami smiled and shook her head slightly. She followed Chopper, taking a brief moment to look back and smile at those who still remained on the ship.

"I SHALL GO TO DANCE!!!" said Usopp, striking a pose that he hoped would make him look like a brave warrior of the sea. He ran off to the city center.

"I guess I should be going to the center too then..." said Zoro resignedly.

"Oi, Zoro, wait a minute," said Franky.

Zoro looked back. What did the old man want?

"Don't look at me like that" said the cyborg "I wanted to talk to you about something while we headed for the center."

Zoro sighed. He could only guess what Franky was just _dying_ to talk about with him.

"So, Zoro" began Franky. About that one part of the ship you wanted me to build..."

Zoro breathed a sigh of relief. At least there was _someone_ on the ship that didn't have a clue what was going on.

Zoro caught up with Robin as they made their way towards a small booth that read, "Dance Duels, sign up here."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Zoro asked, hopefully not as weakly as he thought it sounded.

"Why?" asked Robin teasingly, "Are you afraid of losing Mr. Swordsman?"

"NO" said Zoro, suddenly brimming with bravado that he lacked five second ago "I just... didn't want you to embarrass yourself in front of all these people, that's all." ("That's good" he thought, "I should be able to lie like that all the time.")

"Oh, believe me Mr. Swordsman, one of us will be embarrassed after this, but it will certainly not be me."

"Why are you so confident?" asked Zoro "Has all that coffee gone to your head?"

Robin simply smiled mysteriously. That always got to Zoro. Robin knew that. That's why she did it so often.

They reached the front of the line. "Name?" asked the attendee, not even looking up.

"Nicole Raven" said Robin, without batting an eye. She had used the alias many times before.

"And yours sir?" the attendee asked.

"em...umm..." stuttered Zoro. It hadn't occurred to him to use a fake name.

"Your _name_ sir." The attendee asked, looking up and wondering what kind of imbecile didn't even know his own name.

Zoro looked around quickly for inspiration. He spotted a hunk of cheese in the window of a nearby restaurant.

"I go by Gorgonzola," he said, hoping the attendee would buy it.

The attendee didn't buy it. He knew something was up. But, then again, he was only being paid three bucks an hour for this job, so he really didn't care.

"You're duel will begin shortly. Have a nice day Mr. Gorgonzola."

Zoro cursed under his breath. He knew that he would regret naming himself after cheese one day. And the fact that it sounded like his real name only made him feel worse.

End of Chapter Six. Wow...and I thought the other ones were long... this thing is _huge_ er. ish. I think I got everybody on the crew saying something this time around. All these reviews pump me up so much! Keep 'em comin'!


	8. El dance off

Disclaimer: I don't own one piece. Oda-sensei isn't crazy enough to make Zoro dance like a madman. Or at least he wasn't when I wrote this.

El dance off

I knew that challenging that woman to a dance off was the stupidest, corniest, least masculine thing I'd ever done in my life. And I mean that in the most insulting way possible.

To who? To fate. To karma. To destiny. To whatever you want to call the unseen force guiding my life. The "Mystic Writer" of my story, as Robin calls it. That woman reads way too many books.

If there is someone up there writing my story, I detest him with ever fiber in my body.

Nami: TAKE IT BACK ZORO!!!!!

Zoro: WHY?

Nami: Because if there is someone up there writing this, he has the power to _kill you off_ too.

Zoro: AGH! Your right!

(Back to reader)

Let me clear something up. I've never been the most verbacious person in the world. I use detest to mean... admire. Adore. Let's try this again.

If there is someone up there writing my story, I admire him with every fiber in my body.

Zoro: That any better?

Nami: (laughing) of course it is, Zoro.

(To reader) He really can be an idiot sometimes, can't he?

Zoro: HEY! Talking into space is MY JOB!

Nami: Says who?

Zoro: SAYS ME!!!!

Nami: Well fine, I don't know why you talk out into space anyway. It's not exactly a sign of an intelligent person.

Zoro: Why you little Witch-woman...

Sanji (from galley): NAMI-SAN IS NOT A WITCH-WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!

(To reader)

Damn it, that guy has good hearing.

Narration

As Roronoa Zoro (or Gorgonzola, as he was being called) walked onto the stage, he felt an emotion welling up inside of him that he hadn't had much experience with before. Fear. Why was he afraid? It's not like there was someone up on stage waiting to kill him. Surely, he'd faced much scary things in his life and never lost a single bit of his nerve. He thought back to his battles with Kaku and Daz Bones and his encounter with Hawkeye Mihawk. They had come within inches of killing him, and he never felt a shred of terror. But now, as he walked onto the stage in front of millions of people he didn't know and would probably never see again after this, he felt his nerve leave him. What was wrong with him? Was he going soft? (Narrator: Gosh, that was wordy)

A voice came over a loudspeaker: "Up next on Dancing Duels, we have a dispute between Nicole Raven and Gorgonzola! You know how much we hate disputes here in beautiful DBC, so tell me, WHAT SHOULD THEY DO?!?!??!"

"DANCE TO DECIDE!!!!!!!!!!!" The crowd roared back. This was obviously a tradition, perhaps even an island slogan. Either way, no one looked around clueless to what was going on (except for Luffy, but that's to be expected.)

"HEY! That's Zoro and Robin, not Nicole and Gorgonzola!" said Luffy, confused as to what was going on.

"They're using fake names you nimrod," said Nami, annoyed.

"I just hope that crap-swordsman doesn't trip on his own two feet..." said Sanji bitterly.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" said Usopp bravely " _I _taught him everything he knows!!!"

"YOU taught him?!?!?" said Franky warily.

"GO ROBIN!!!!!!" yelled Chopper, meriting a smack on the head from Nami.

"Who's side are you on anyway?" she asked the doctor.

"Um...Robin's?" said Chopper, meriting another smack from Nami. "OW!!!!!" he cried. "Since when are _you_ on Zoro's side?" he asked innocently.

"Since..."she began, but stopped. "Never mind."

"No, seriously, since when..."

"NEVER MIND CHOPPER" said Nami firmly. Chopper decided he would be quiet before he got smacked again.

"ON YOUR MARKS!!!!" came the voice from the loudspeaker. "GET SET..."

"DAAAAAAAANNNNCE" yelled the crowd.

The music began to play. Zoro frantically began to wave his limbs, trying to remember what Usopp had taught him. Roguetown Strut. Grapevine. Arm pumps: firm, but not overdone. As he moved in time with the music, he realized that he wasn't falling (obviously.) He noticed that a few people in the crowd were actually cheering for him. He felt his confidence bolster. He could win this. He glanced quickly at Robin. His confidence faded.

The majority of the crowd's eyes were on Robin, no doubt about it. Zoro was tempted to stop dancing and watch himself, but quickly snapped out of it. Apparently, Robin had had dancing training during one of her many lives. Frantically, he thought back to his lessons with Usopp. Hadn't he said something about a "one-hundred percent every time crowd-stealing, show-stopping dance move?"

Flashback

"ALRIGHT!" said Usopp, "Since you have to train for a dance competition now, you'll need use of my ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT EVERYTIME CROWD-STEALING, SHOW-STOPPING DANCE MOVE!!!!!"

"Can't you think of a shorter name than that?" asked Zoro.

"No way!" snapped Usopp "This is an ENORMOUS MOVE! It deserves nothing less than that full introduction!"

"Wait... introduction?"

"YES, certainly! That's not the _name_. What kind of idiot would name a dance move something that long?"

Zoro was about to say "You would" but he held back. He needed Usopp's help now, and he didn't want to make Usopp mad. "Why do I need something so...ENORMOUS?" asked Zoro.

"Because..." explained Usopp "Robin is a girl. And girls have one dance move that no male can beat, no matter how hard they try." He paused for dramatic effect. "_The Alabastan Shimmy" _he whispered. Lightning struck outside the Thousand Suns. Pretty amazing on a clear day.

"The _Alabastan Shimmy?" _asked Zoro, unbelieving. "How bad of a move could it be with a lame name like that?"

"ITS A VERY DISTRACTING MOVE!" said Usopp, more serious than usual.

"Why?" asked Zoro, nervous for some reason."

"Well, the basic idea behind it is..." Usopp began "The girl sticks her arms out one either side and shakes them very fast back and forth...The idea begin to...em... make what's in between...em...j-jiggle."

And just like that Zoro was gone. Lost in a daydream of Robin doing the Alabastan Shimmy.

"Zoro?" asked Usopp, snapping his fingers in front of Zoro's face. "ZORO!!!!!"

"Wha-what?"

"PAY ATTENTION!!!" You need to learn this move!!! It's the only move on earth that has a chance against the Shimmy!"

"Right, right..." Usopp began to teach, and Zoro had to admit...Usopp really _was_ an idiot.

End Flashback

Zoro was losing. He could tell by all the cheers of "RAVEN" that the crowd was chanting. The song almost over, he decided to try Usopp's "finishing move." Zoro stopped. He turned sideways towards the edge of the stage. He stuck out his hand, and made a motion as if to step forward with one foot. Then, before that foot touched, he pushed himself back with the other foot, propelling him backwards across the stage. The crowd stopped. Then they went wild. An illusion of walking forwards while actually going backwards...it was unlike anything they had ever seen.

The song ended. The announcer asked "WHO IS THE WINNER???" The answer was clear. "GORGONZOLA!!!!!!!!"

Zoro sighed. He really, _really_ should have picked a better name. But seeing Robin clapping and nodding in applause made him forget his grief, at least for the moment.

Franky, Sanji, and Chopper were absolutely amazed.

"DID YOU SEE THAT???" asked Chopper excitedly. "THAT WAS AMAXING!!!!!!!"

"SUPER!!!!" said Franky in agreement.

Sanji simply gaped in awe. He noticed how girls everywhere were chanting Zoro's fake name. Then, out of the blue, he asked Usopp "so, best buddy, would you mind teaching me to dance like that?"

Usopp smiled. "OF COURSE!" he said, "I'll be happy to show you my completely original "Django Walk!" He folded his arms and smiled a big smile, fit for a brave warrior of the sea.

That is chapter 7. All these reviews are helping me right SUPER fast! I hope you like it. And don't worry. This isn't the whole climax of the story.


	9. A Hidden Talent

Disclaimer: Own One Piece, I am not. Yoda am I not either. Sue me, not do.

A hidden talent

A lot of people, when they first meet me, think I only care about three things: Eating, sleeping, and sword training.

Anyone who's sailed with me as a Straw Hat Pirate, however, thinks differently. They think I care about five things, Eating, _drinking,_ sleeping, nakama, and sword training.

Personally, I'm okay with that. I don't mind letting people think that's all there is to me. It makes life a lot simpler. It also helps maintain a certain image, yknow? I mean if the famous, demonic, pirate hunter Zoro cared about anything else, it'd look kind of silly right?

Of course I'm right. But still, even with that being what people _think_ I'm all about, there are a few other things that I enjoy. Mind out of the gutter pervert, I'm not talking about that.

Keep that in mind...

Narration

Zoro took a bow. He felt good inside, and yet felt incredibly awkward at the same time. He had won? Amazing. He hadn't intended to win, just not make a fool of himself. "Although, they are kind of the same thing," he thought to himself. But still, he felt kind of awkward. But he put that up to everyone calling him Gorgonzola. He _really_ should have picked a better name.

As he and Robin walked off the stage, he felt like he was overlooking something, forgetting something. He checked his belt, but all three swords were still there. "What's wrong with me?" One look at the crowd was enough to remind him. "COUPLES DANCING" he heard Usopp shout somewhere from the back of his mind.

"OI! RO... em… RAVEN!" he yelled as he ran to catch up with her.

Robin turned around, surprised. "Yes, Mr. Swordsman?" she asked, trying her best not to show her surprise.

"I was just wondering..." Zoro asked, his confidence surprisingly high from his recent victory "since there's no point in going back to the ship so early... I wanted to know if you would... like to dance?" He held out his hand.

Robin almost gasped in surprise. Zoro... was asking her to dance? And being civil about it? This couldn't be Zoro. Something must have happened. Only one way to be sure.

Robin reached up and knocked on Zoro's head. "Hell_ooooo_?" she asked teasingly, "Can I speak to Zoro please?"

"IM RIGHT HERE, WOMAN!" he screamed. Robin laughed. It was Zoro all right. Tactless to a fault. Actually to many faults.

She took hand. "Of course I'll dance with you." she said, smiling her mysterious smile. It drove Zoro crazy. She knew that. That's why she did it so much.

As they danced around the center, Zoro looked to see what the other Straw Hats were doing. Franky and Sanji were caught up in the moment, dancing wildly with as many girls as they could find. Nami slinked through the crowd, dancing with as many men as she could find and stealing their wallets. Chopper and Luffy laughed wildly and danced a messed up version of what looked like the tango.

It was Usopp who the center of the crowds attention though. Apparently, he had not let the fact that he was "The Great Gorgonzola's" private dance tutor go unknown. Men gathered around him, trying to learn new dance moves from him, while a giant crowd of women (including Nami, which Zoro found odd) begged dances off of him, to which Usopp naturally obliged.

The crowd danced and danced until the late hours of the night. Well, actually, the crowd kept dancing and dancing, but the Straw Hats finally tired out and returned to the ship. Usopp waved his fans goodbye, promising to return tomorrow. Sanji waved goodbye to the ladies cheerfully, while shooting Usopp jealous looks.

Zoro and Robin walked back towards the ship. Zoro was finding, much to his surprise, that he was actually good at holding conversation. At least considering how much practice he'd had.

"I'll admit," said Robin "You really surprised me out there Mr. Swordsman. I didn't think you could learn how to dance so quickly."

"Yeah well... there are a lot of things you wouldn't know about me unless you really looked." His turn to be mysterious.

"Yeah... right." said Robin, unbelieving.

"HEY!' snapped Zoro. He was very good at sarcasm, and could tell what Robin was insinuating.

"Hey what?" asked Robin "You know it's true. You only knew how to dance like that because of Usopp."

"Well, that may be true, but there are still loads of other things that I can do."

"You mean _besides_ sleeping, drinking, and sword fighting?"

"YES!"

"Like _what?_"

"Like... um...well…"

"HA!" laughed Robin, triumphantly. "I knew it!" And yet, despite how triumphant she felt, a part of Robin was disappointed. She really did want there to be more. It would make things a bit more interesting.

Zoro growled. He couldn't let this woman think that there was really nothing more to him than that. And she couldn't let her be right either. "Shows how much you know" he quipped.

Robin raised her eyebrows inquisitively. "Really? Than what else is there?"

"Come with me. I'll show you." Replied Zoro mysteriously. It really did feel good to do that to her occasionally.

Zoro led Robin to the Thousand Suns. He quickly jumped onto the ship, went to his cabin, and motioned her to enter. Robin tensed. Was Zoro really that kind of guy? She entered the room, warily. Zoro was leaning against the wall farthest from the door. "I hope that _this_ is enough proof for you," he said, and he pressed one of the boards on the wall in. The wall swung open, to reveal a doorway. Zoro grabbed Robin's arm and led her through.

The room they entered looked out at the water. There was glass all around the room, to let sunlight and air in, but to keep the rain out. OR was it glass? Surely glass wouldn't be able to survive the harsh storms of the grand line... But the most surprising thing to Robin was what the room held. In the center of the room, she saw twelve beehives.

"Wait...you're a..." she began to ask in amazement.

"That's right." he finished for her, "I'm a beekeeper."

"... Since...when?" Robin barely asked. She was finding it difficult to breathe at the moment, mostly from astonishment, a little bit from shock. (Wait, are those the same thing? Ah, whatever.)

"A while." he answered. "Way before Luffy ever recruited me to be on his crew."

Robin watched in wonder as Zoro crossed the room and slipped into a beekeeper's suit. "So…" she asked, interested "Why do you have this...affinity with bees?" She didn't know what else to say. She really hadn't been expecting this.

"If you mean why I enjoy beekeeping" Zoro corrected, amused at Robin's sudden astonishment "I've always liked bees ever since I was stung by one when I was a kid."

"You like them...because you were stung by one."

"Yup." he said, "I always marveled at how a bug so small can cause so much pain with a single sting. I like to imagine them as the swordsmen of the insect world, if you must know." Zoro reached into one of the hives and began to collect honey from the combs. He pulled his hands out, holding a spoon full of honey triumphantly before emptying it into a jar.

"Don't they ever sting you?" Robin asked, still not believing the situation.

"Yeah, a lot, but I like to think that, given how sweet the result is, the pain really doesn't matter does it?" Robin was amazed. Could Zoro really be this deep? Zoro caught himself though. "That sounded really corny, didn't it?" he asked, doing his best not to look embarrassed.

"Well, no, not really...It was...well...sweet." Robin tried to control her blushing. She looked down at the floor, trying to hide the redness that was entering her cheeks.

"Honey?" Zoro asked.

Robin almost said "Yes?" but caught herself. "Idiot" she thought to herself. "He's not talking about you. Control yourself."

"I said would you like some honey?" Zoro asked again. "I'd imagine it goes well with coffee."

Robin smiled. "Perhaps another day, Mr. Swordsman." It was becoming too much. She needed to get out of there before he found out...before she couldn't hold back any longer. "Well, it is late" she said, trying to excuse herself "I should get some sleep. Ms. Navigator says that the lockpost will not memorize this island's magnetic field for another day or so, so I'll be needing my energy." She turned to leave.

"Oi, Robin." Zoro called after her softly. Robin turned. "Em... well… I saw this coffeehouse while I was on my way to the city center." said Zoro "I was wondering if you could... well... help me find it again? And then maybe get something to drink?"

Robin couldn't help but blush this time. Zoro really _was_ turning into a gentleman, wasn't he? She smiled. I'd enjoy that a lot, Mr. Swordsman." She turned to leave.

"Oi, and Robin, one more thing." Robin turned back quickly. "Call me Zoro, alright?"

"All right Mr. ...I mean, Alright Zoro," said Robin quietly. She turned and left quickly. Any longer and she couldn't have held back any more.

Zoro waited until he knew she was out of earshot, and then he let out a triumphant "HA!" He continued to work with the bees, all of a sudden not caring if anyone came in and saw him. Life was good. He had won a dance competition, made Sanji jealous, made Robin realize that he really _was_ deep, and was going out on a date with her tomorrow. He was king of the world. Nothing could go wrong now.

As if.

That's chapter 8! Gosh, who would've thought that Zoro turned out to be a beekeeper? Well, I mean, besides me. I hope there's not way too much fluff in this chapter, because if there isn't, that means there's even less fluff in the rest of the story. This probably is one of the fluffiest chapters in the story, just to let you know, it won't get any worse than this.

Or will it?

No, it won't. At least, I hope not.


	10. The Plot Thickens

Disclaimer: I-ay o-day ot-nay wn-oay ne-oay iece-pay.

Daz Bones

Daz Bones was in trouble. BIG trouble. He had been defeated. Sliced through by the infamous Roronoa Zoro. And now, to pay for his defeat, he was being sent to Impel Down, the government's publicly funded equivalent of hell. He could almost hear himself screaming. He shuddered. He wished they would just push him into the ocean.

He was led into a marine vessel, separate from Mr. 0, Mr. 2, and Mr.3. He sighed. He wished he had taken the trouble to learn their names while he had been held in prison, so he wouldn't have to always call them by their numbers. Well, it was too late for that now.

He really had always known that joining Baroque Works was one of the worst decisions he could have made in his life. Deep down, he knew that one day it would fall apart, and he'd be left up a creek without a paddle. Still, the pay had been good, and the partner he had been given, well, she certainly had helped him forget his troubles from time to time. Enough said.

As he sat in the holding cell of the marine ship, his mind yet again turned to Roronoa Zoro. He cursed the name. He was being sent to Impel Down, while that metal-cutting whelp was roaming the seas pursuing his dreams.

Dwelling on his defeat, he was struck by a stroke of inspiration. "That kid cut through metal using metal." He thought, his hopes for escape suddenly rising. He tried to turn his body into metal, in an attempt to cut through his handcuffs, but instantly felt his power drained. He cursed silently. The handcuffs must have been made with Divinity, the metal that cancelled out the powers of the Devil Fruit.

Daz Bones quickly searched his surroundings. There _had_ to be something he could do. He searched frantically, searching for any sort of metal object he could use. He almost gave up twice, but thoughts of his screaming at Impel down pushed him onward.

Then, in the corner of the cell, he saw a glint of steel. He worked his way over to it quickly. He dusted the object off. It was a small pocketknife. Daz Bones praised his luck. He was one step closer to freedom.

He used his feet to stand the pocketknife so that its point faced straight up. He held his handcuffed hands up, and then bashed the handcuffs against the edge of the knife with all the force he could muster. Sparks flew, but the handcuffs remained intact. Not even a scratch had been made. Daz cursed. This was harder than he had thought. Relentlessly, he smashed the handcuffs onto the point of the knife over and over again. More sparks. The knife finally flew loose from his feet; flying across the room it clattered against the wall. Daz looked at his handcuffs. Still not even a scratch. He cursed again.

Daz thought back to his encounter with Zoro. What had that kid muttered about before he had cut through him like paper? Something about a sword that could cut through nothing? Something about metal breathing? Breathing... what did that mean? Was it possible that all objects...had some kind of life in them? That would explain while even though he was made of metal, he never had trouble moving. Never had trouble...breathing.

He concentrated. He searched through himself, through the handcuffs, through the knife, looking for some kind of breathing. Some kind of life force. He needed the force to be with him. Hardy-har. Hardly a time for jokes.

Only desperation drove him onwards. He did not eat, did not sleep. He meditated for days without end as the ship slowly sailed towards Impel Down and his imminent doom.

Then, when a week had passed, he heard it. A slow, rhythmic pulse coming from his body. From the handcuffs. From the pocketknife. From everywhere. A slow, pulsing sound, almost like breath. So this is what Zoro had heard before he had sliced through his metal body like it was tissue paper. Daz smiled, hardly an action common from a man on his way to Impel Down, but for good reason. He was about to make the greatest escape of any pirate in history. Except, perhaps, of the escape of Nico Robin from Enies Lobby. The Straw Hats and been involved in that too. He wondered if Zoro had survived the incident. _Most_ _likely_ he thought to himself. _He __does__ have a bounty of 120,000,000 berries now. They wouldn't give that kind of money for the retrieval of a dead body._

Daz Bones placed the pocketknife upright between his feet again. He felt its breath. Felt the breath of his handcuffs. Then, he placed the cuff over his right hand on the tip of the knife blade. He imagined the knife's rhythm cutting the breath of his cuff short. He pushed slightly. The knife sliced through the cuff as if it were butter. He concentrated, quickly cutting lose his right arm. Then, turning his body into metal, he cut through the metal bars holding him in his cell. He was free.

He quickly downed the guards in the room, slashing through them with two quick strokes. He burst the door down. He ran out onto the deck, slashing marines left and right. Bullets reflected off his metal body. Swords broke. He was unstoppable. He ran to the captain's office, cutting the major in charge almost in half. The marines charged into the room, swords out, and guns blazing. Daz turned and smiled menacingly. He was going to enjoy this.

It was sunset. And it was over. Not a single marine was left standing. Daz cleaned the decks of the ship, dumping the crippled marines into the holding cell. He was the last ship in the line of ships heading towards Impel Down. Another stroke of luck.

He slowed down, until the other ships were out of sight. Then he turned the ship around and headed back, away from Impel Down.

Daz searched the ship until he found the Navigation quarters. He consulted the map. The Straw Hat pirates had just left Water 7 a few days ago, so that would mean that they would be at...Ontaria. A.K.A. Disco Ball City. He searched through the drawers, finally finding an eternal post to Ontaria. He smiled a menacing smile.

"We will meet again Roronoa Zoro." he said out loud. "We'll see who cuts who this time." He steered the ship towards Ontaria, revenge filling every thought in his mind.

Chapter Nine End. Now that was different, wasn't it?


	11. A surprise guest

Disclaimer: TEN HUT! If Oda-sensei is present say here!... Yup, that's a no.

A surprise guest

If I had a better memory, I probably could have prevented what was about to happen.

To my credit, I at least thought _something_ strange was going on. Of course, I felt the same way when Nami and Robin came on the ship too. Granted, they both turned out to be traitors, but it always worked out in the end, y'know?

I guess that's why a part of me disregarded the new guy's sudden appearance.

That, and I was also so dangerously giddy I couldn't think straight...

Narration

"Hey, crap-swordsman, wake up."

Roronoa Zoro was sleeping soundly in his cot. He heard a voice tell him to wake up, but, having trained himself to do so, promptly ignored it and fell back to sleep almost instantly.

"HEY! MARIMO HEAD!! GET UP!!!!" The voice yelled. Zoro flung his arm out at the source of the noise. He felt it connect, and heard a nice "thud" sound that meant that the noisemaker was down. He smiled to himself, and then fell back asleep.

Meanwhile, Sanji (for indeed, it was he) picked himself up off the floor. Why was he even bothering to do this? Surely, Zoro had never done anything to deserve his kindness. Perhaps it was the way Robin had been acting happier than usual that pushed him on. "That's right." he told himself "I'm doing this for Robin-chan, not this craphead."

"Yo, Zoro, get up _now_ or you'll be sorry." Sanji warned. When Zoro refused to wake up, Sanji smiled. What was forbidding him from having a little fun with this? Sanji raised him leg high in the air, then brought it down right on top of Zoro's chest.

"OOF!!" was all Zoro was able to get out before the wind was knocked out of him. He lay on the bed for a few minutes, gasping for air. When he finally got enough breath to talk again, he began to say… "Why you damn..."

"You can thank me later" said Sanji coolly.

"THANK YOU?!??! FOR WHAT?" Zoro screamed. Apparently, he regained his breath a hell of a lot quicker when he was angry.

"You made a date with Robin-chan right? Well if you're planning to go out to dinner, you might want to think of getting up. It's almost 7:00."

Zoro gasped. Then he jolted out of bed, rushing to his closet. He frantically searched through it, looking for something decent to wear. "DAMN!" he said. "I don't have anything fit to wear to a coffeehouse!"

"I got you covered" said Sanji, holding up a suit, recently pressed and washed. "You and I are probably the same size, right?"

Zoro simply stared. What was with Sanji? "Who...are you?" he asked.

Sanji simply laughed. "Don't think I'm doing any of this for you Marimo head. You just better make damn sure that Robin's happy tonight, got it?"

Zoro nodded. "Thanks" he said, extending his hand. Sanji hesitated, but then shook. A historic moment. Zoro grabbed the suit and quickly began to change.

"WHOA!" said Sanji, shielding his eyes. "At least wait 'till I'm out of the room, eh crap-swordsman?" Zoro chuckled and gave a quick nod.

When he was finished changing (and had "borrowed" some of Usopp's cologne) Zoro quickly made his way to the woman's quarters. He knocked on the door with three, shrill raps.

"Who is it?" came Robin's voice from within.

"It's Zoro." was all he said. There was a great rushing noise within the room, followed by the hushed sound of two females whispering quietly among themselves. After a minute, the door opened, and Robin stepped out, wearing a dress that Zoro was quite certain he'd never seen her wear before. He could feel his pulse quicken. Robin smiled. The dress was working like a charm.

"Well, shall we go?" asked Robin. Zoro simply nodded.

They walked to the coffee shop. Zoro got lost and had to be redirected by Robin at least three times. When they finally got there, a snooty looking waiter came out and greeted them.

"Goood day, Monsewer, Madamwazelle" he said, obviously attempting to fake a French accent and sounding suspiciously like Patty. "May I seat yoou?"

"Sure" said Zoro, never the one for formalities " window, if you have one."

"Of course sir" replied the waiter, faux-French accent forgotten. "Follow me."

The waiter led them to a two-person table next to the shop's window. "Drinks?" he asked, whipping out a pencil and pad.

"I'll have a bottle of grog," said Zoro.

"We do not serve alcohol in this establishment, sir."

"Wha... fine, I'll have… em...a glass of water."

The waiter turned to Robin. "And you Ma'am?"

"I'll have a triple shot ventei, light cappucino with no espresso, no whipped cream, no extra flavoring, and no beans." Robin said with a smile.

The waiter went through the list in his mind. "That's an empty cup," said the waiter, finally.

"Oh, and fill it with coffee." chuckled Robin.

The waiter sighed. "I don't get paid enough for this," he said. Robin and Zoro looked at him with stern expressions. "Oh, I'm sorry" he said hurriedly. I meant that to be a thought bubble." He dashed away quickly, leaving Zoro and Robin laughing at the table.

"Of course it's annoying," said Robin, hints of a smile creeping across her lips, "That's why I enjoy it so much."

Zoro smiled. "Well, we'll at least have to remember to give him a nice tip, eh?"

"Indeed." She picked up her menu and began to peruse it.

The waiter came back, still sore from their last encounter. "Water and... em... coffee." he said. "Have you decided what you'll order then? No wait, don't tell me. A hamburger with no bun, no lettuce, no patty, and no condiments, right?"

They all laughed. "That sounds pretty good actually" said Zoro "but on top of that, add a steak, eh? Well done." (Narrator: No, I don't know why a coffeehouse serves steak and hamburgers, it's not like I just made this up.)

"Excellent choice" said the waiter. "And you, ma'am?"

"I'll have the grilled flounder, no tartar sauce," said Robin. (Narrator: The coffeehouse _is_ by the ocean, I guess that's why there's fish.) The waiter gave a quick nod and scurried off again.

"So" asked Robin gently "What made you decide to act so civil all of a sudden?"

Zoro shifted in his chair uncomfortably. "Well..." he said, nervously "Its because... of the way I treated you as Ms. All-Sunday." he made up quickly. "I kind of felt bad for mistreating you and stuff. You're our nakama, and I should've realized that."

Robin smiled, but at the same time felt a little disappointed. She could have sworn... "Is that it?" she asked bravely.

Zoro put his hand behind his head; it was a nervous habit, one that he hardly ever used. "Em... well...there was _one_ other thing..."he said, leaning a little closer. Robin gasped. Was this it? She leaned in. Closer. Closer...

"RORONOA ZORO AND NICO ROBIN, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!!!!!!" a voice shouted from the street. Zoro and Robin snapped back into their chairs and looked into the street. A small army of marines had gathered outside the shop, apparently having learned about the "vicious pirates" that were inside.

"Oy vey" said Zoro, rolling his eyes.

"Should we deal with them, or simply run?" asked Robin.

"I say we deal with them, I'm looking forward to that steak." Robin smiled. So simple.

Before they could even move, however, a figure in a long cloak and hood suddenly rushed at the marines. There was yelling, screaming, shooting. The figure kept on, slashing the marines with some find of ax. Then it was over.

Zoro and Robin exchanged puzzled glances, and then rushed out of the coffeehouse, steak forgotten.

"What was that?" asked Zoro.

"I didn't want you guys to have to go through all the trouble of getting rid of them," the figure said.

"Well...thanks" said Robin. "Anything we can do for you?"

"Well..." said the figure "I do have _one _request."

"Name it," said Zoro.

"Let me join your crew," said Daz Bones.

Ooooooh, creepy. Chapter 10 is present and accounted for SIR! or MA'AM! Whatever the gender of the reader may be!!


	12. A New Crewmate

Disclaimer: Amaxing? HERE! Bueller? HERE! Oda? Oda? Oda? He's not here? All right. Fry? Fry?...

A plot twist, or two

I really should have recognized him from the beginning. I mean, even if he was covering his face and body with that ridiculous cloak, he still had the exact same metallic-like voice as before, and he really didn't make any effort to hide it.

I guess he was going off of the supposition that I had a really bad memory. Well, he supposed right.

I'm actually kind of surprised Nami didn't remember him. I mean he _did_ try to split her in half. But I guess terror makes people forget things pretty quickly.

As for Robin, Baroque Works worked off the principle that no one was allowed to know the identity of anyone else, so that's probably why she was clueless as to who he really was.

Still, I can't believe how gullible I was... I guess it had a lot to do with how soft I was going...

Narration

Nami paced the deck of the Thousand Suns nervously. "Where is he?" she said out loud.

"Don't you mean, where are _they?" _asked Chopper innocently.

Nami shot him a dirty look. "Yes...of course...I mean they."

"Don't worry about them." Franky said, "They're probably just having a _super_ time. You can't begrudge them of that, can you?"

"It's not that!" the navigator defended quickly. "I thought I heard some commotion earlier, they could be handcuffed and being sent to Enies Lobby for all we know!"

"Even if they _were._" chimed in Luffy. "It's not like we couldn't just rescue them again, is it?"

"Well...yes...but..."

"Are you sure that there isn't some other reason why you're so worried, Nami-san?" asked Sanji, a knowing look in his eyes.

"None of your business." muttered Nami. Sanji simply smiled. (Narrator: Aren't alliterations awesome?) He was, of course, a little jealous, I mean after all, he had worked harder than anyone to win both Nami's and Robin's hearts over, but, for some reason, he was just glad that they had both found someone who they cared for. "Must be the gentleman in me," thought Sanji to himself.

In the distance, a crowd of women could be seen approaching the Thousand Suns. Luffy squinted to see what was going on, then doubled over in laughter." It looks like Usopp is back, and he's brought some friends!" he said through the laughter.

"Forgive me ladies!" Usopp proclaimed to the crowd of adoring fans "I must depart from you until tomorrow!" The ladies screamed. Some broke into tears. Some simply tried to claw their way to the front of the crowd, trying to get one last dance or an autograph off of Usopp. "Do not cry me hearties!" cried Usopp; doing his best to sound like a brave warrior of the sea. "I shall always be with you, in your hearts, in your minds, and most of all, in your dancing!" The crowd cheered. Usopp took a grand bow and sprinted to the ship, leaving the crowd behind him.

"Well _you_ seem to be quite the popular one," said Nami teasingly as Usopp boarded the ship.

"Can I help it?" Usopp beamed back "Ladies just _love_ a good dancer, especially here."

"Hey, Usopp, buddy, you were going to teach me that 'Django Walk' today, right?" asked Sanji hopefully.

"Of course!" said Usopp, pleased with his new position of prowess on the ship "But first, to tell you all of the amazing adventure I had today!"

Sanji rolled his eyes. Typical Usopp. "I think I'll sit this one out, crap-shooter," said Sanji, choosing to take up Nami's position as lookout near the front of the ship while Nami, Chopper, Luffy, and Franky sat around and marveled at Usopp's story.

As Usopp related his adventure to the crew, Sanji saw three figures approaching the Thousand Suns. Two of them he recognized as Zoro and Robin, but the third, a man wearing a long cloak and hood, he had never seen before. "It looks like we have company!" said Sanji, simply _hating_ to interrupt Usopp's story. The crew gathered near the front of the ship, straining to see who was coming to the Thousand Suns so late.

"Hey Zoro, Hey Robin!" said Luffy, jumping off the ship and landing in front of the three. "Who's that?!" he asked excitedly.

"My name is Ferrus," said Daz. _So this is the captain,_ he thought to himself. _He __looks__ easy enough to fool... actually I take that back, he looks like an idiot. _Internally, he shook his head in disbelief. How could someone so simple-minded defeat Mr. 0?

"Yeah?" said Luffy "You wanna join my crew?" It was his standard way of greeting people.

Daz was taken aback for a moment. He had spent days planning on how to infiltrate the Straw Hat's defenses, and here was the captain, holding the door wide open for him. He smiled, his grin concealed by his hood. This was going to be easier than he thought.

"Actually" 'Ferrus' answered. "That's what I came to ask you."

"GREAT!!!!" yelled Luffy. "What can you do?"

"Well..." said Daz "I can play the piano..." And he really could. It was a nice hobby, and it was really the only thing that he had other than his work to occupy his time.

"A MUSICIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Luffy yelled with delight. "FINALLY!!!" He began to dance an awkward two-step, which Usopp and Franky quickly joined in. Chopper, however, contrary to his usual behavior, was suspicious.

"I don't know Luffy..." said Chopper. "This guy smells familiar... I could be wrong, but I could swear that he was at Alabasta during the uprising..."

Daz tensed nervously. _NO!_ He thought to himself. _I'm not going to let this stupid reindeer-thing ruin my cover!"_ "That's impossible," he said quickly. "I've never been to Alabasta in my entire life."

Chopper eyed 'Ferrus' suspiciously, then walked back towards the ship.

Luffy stopped dancing. Chopper did have quite a good nose. He looked at Daz again. There _was_ an air of... something around him, he just couldn't tell what.

"Well..." he finally said. "Perhaps I jumped to conclusions a little quickly. We should get to know this guy first, then see if he's a friend, eh?"

The crew stared at Luffy in amazement. This was possibly the most intelligent thing he'd said since he told them that they needed a shipwright. Sometimes, he really _did_ make sense...

"Fine." said Daz quickly. "That seems fair enough to me." Inside, however, he was furious. That stupid reindeer would pay for almost blowing his cover.

"Well" said Luffy, continuing in his fit of captain's wisdom. "It's pretty late, we should probably turn in, right?"

The crew nodded in agreement. Luffy, Franky, and Usopp led 'Ferrus' to the guest quarters, while Nami climbed into the crow's nest to begin her post at night watch. Sanji, at Luffy's order, went to the galley and cook a large piece of meat, which Luffy would later devour by himself. Robin and Zoro slowly walked towards the woman's quarters, talking and laughing along the way.

"The only thing that I _didn't _like about tonight" said Zoro thoughtfully "was that I never _did_ get to eat that steak I ordered."

Robin chuckled softly. Zoro's comment was only made funnier by the fact that he had actually put some thought into what he had said. "Yes..." Robin said in agreement "but other than that, it was a nice night."

"What do you think of that Ferrus guy?" said Zoro, becoming serious for a moment.

"He seems... mysterious" said Robin "but that isn't always a bad thing, is it?"

"No" said Zoro "I suppose not." He smiled. "Some of the best things in the world are mysterious."

Robin looked up at Zoro. Was that what she thought it was? She decided to let it go, allowing her mind to interpret the comment whichever way she wanted to.

They reached the door of the woman's quarters. Zoro tensed. This was it. Sanji had told him that the best place to kiss a lady was at the doorstep, right before the date was over, so that that would be the memory that lingered in their minds and on their lips. Personally, he had thought that it sounded _really_ corny, especially the way Sanji put it, but it was still a good idea, nonetheless.

"Well... Good night." said Zoro.

"Good night." said Robin. But she did not open the door. She simply stood there, smiling, waiting.

Zoro took Robin's hand. He pulled her in slowly. Robin closed her eyes and leaned in. Closer… Closer...

"OY! Zoro!" yelled 'Ferrus'. Zoro shook his head, as if leaving a trance. "What?!?!" he asked, infuriated.

"You didn't get any dinner right?" Daz asked, trying to sound like a friend. "You want to go down to the galley and have that chef cook up something?"

"Yeah, sure, in minute." Zoro answered. Daz nodded, and headed towards the galley. "You want to come too?" he asked Robin hopefully.

"No, that's all right," said Robin quickly. She had to get away. It was the second time that night she had almost let herself go. _But why am I trying to stop myself?"_ she thought. _I don't have to hide my emotions anymore._

"O, alright then…" Zoro said, doing his best not to sound disappointed. "Well, Good night."

"Good night" said Robin, going through the door.

Zoro stood for a minute, silently cursing Ferrus, fate, the narrator, or whatever was doing this to him. What was so bad about him and Robin…? He steeled himself. That was a thought for another day. He turned towards the galley.

"Zoro, wait." came a voice from behind him.

Zoro turned. Robin ran out, threw her arms around him, and quickly kissed him on the cheek.

"Good night" she said, and went back into the woman's quarters, leaving a confused, yet uncharacteristically giddy Zoro standing there. He let out a soft "Yes!" and ran towards the galley.

Robin smiled to herself as she lay in bed, thinking of the day. Her days of always appearing cold and unemotional were over. From now on, she wouldn't have to hide anything. She fell asleep, her dreams filled with images of a green-haired man.

Daz Bones observed the entire incident from afar. "So" he thought menacingly "The great, demonic, Roronoa Zoro has a soft spot for that girl, eh? That could make things...interesting." He laughed maniacally. Perhaps defeating "Three-swords" Zoro would be easier than he thought.

Chapter 11 is finite. These chapters are getting pretty long, aren't they? Ah well, what can you do right? As long as it stays amaxing, I'm good with it.


	13. An Uncharacteristic Thank You

Disclaimer: I don't own one piece. If I did, I'd be drawing it and not writing this stuff right? Honestly...

An Uncharacteristic Thank You

As you could imagine, I felt on top of the world. Without doubt, I was probably as soft and exposed at the moment than any other moment in my life.

You might think that that isn't such a bad thing; well I can tell you right now, you're wrong.

Why? Because when I get soft, I don't know how to act. I mean look at me now, I'm talking into space, telling pretty much my life story to absolutely no one. Well, actually, there is a honeybee flying by where I'm sitting, so I guess I'm telling this entire story to a bee. Could be worse.

Anyway, back on topic, when I go soft, bad things happen. For one night, and one night only, I let my emotions get the better of me.

And in that one moment of weakness, I engaged in a single action, which was the beginning of a huge fiasco that threatened the entire Straw Hat pirate crew.

I guess it's true. People of greatness tend to make bigger mistakes... Yes, I do have an ego.

Narration

"Mind if I join you?" asked the green-haired swordsman to the orange-haired navigator.

"Well, well, well, you _are_ full of surprises, aren't you?" teased Nami, motioning Zoro to sit down. "And I here I though we'd never hear so much as an apology from the _great, demonic_ Zoro, and here you are, formalities and everything."

Zoro smiled. "Yeah, I'm slipping. Being on the same boat with Sanji for too long has turned me into a soft fool."

Nami laughed. "I don't know about that Zoro" she said reassuringly "You've _always_ been a fool. I think Sanji only helped with the soft bit."

Zoro grunted. He wasn't going to deny it, because after all, it _was_ true. He'd always hated the fact that she was right all the time.

"So, how did your date with Robin go?" she asked Zoro, as if she hadn't just insulted him.

"Well..." Zoro said, pausing for dramatic effect. He didn't begin again until Nami smacked him in the arm and asked "_well?!??!"_ He laughed and continued. "We went to this little coffee shop on the outside of town..."

"You? A coffee shop?" Nami interrupted, unbelieving. "Now I've heard everything..."

Zoro ignored the comment and continued. "Right, so, we went to the coffeehouse, and, y'know, we started talking about stuff... Current Events, Annoying waiters, all that kinda small talk business...

"Yeah??" asked Nami, intrigued.

"And then I leaned in to kiss her..."

"Awwwwww" Nami couldn't help herself, it was just too cute.

"And the marines came and tried to arrest us!"

"I KNEW IT!!!!" smiled Nami triumphantly. "I knew that I heard _something_ while I was waiting for you guys."

"Em...ok...that's...great." said Zoro, not really knowing what to say _Just smile and nod, Zoro ,_he thought to himself. _Just smile and nod._

"I'm sorry," said Nami, blushing slightly. "You were saying?"

"Well...yeah... where was I?"

"The marines."

"Right, the marines. Well anyway, the marines ordered us to surrender, there must've been like a hundred of them, and we were all set to just fight 'em off so I could eat my steak..."

"I thought you said you went to a coffeehouse."

"We did."

"And you ordered a steak?"

"It looked _good."_

"Interesting..."

"ANYWAY" yelled Zoro annoyed at all the interruptions "We were all set to fight 'em off, and then that Ferrus guy just ran at 'em and sliced 'em all up."

"_What?"_ Nami asked. "He took out _all_ of them?!?"

"Well...yeah..."

"Doesn't that seem a bit _odd_ to you?"

"No, not really...I mean, I could've taken 'em all too for goodness sake."

"Yeah...I guess..." Nami admitted, settling down a bit. "I'm sorry, you were saying?"

"Right, well we came back to the ship and I took her to the door, said good night and all that...and then, I was all set to leave and she just ran out all of a sudden and kissed me!" Zoro said with a smile.

"Awwwwww" cooed Nami.

"Y'know, that really gets annoying after a while." Zoro said.

"Sorry."

" 'salright."

"Well, I'm happy for you." Nami said, smiling. "It's nice to know that there's a little more love in the world, eh?"

"Yeah..." Zoro said, his mind suddenly drifting away for a minute. They sat there for a moment, staring out at the ocean.

"Nami?"

"Yeah, Zoro?"

"Thanks" he said, and he kissed her on the forehead.

Nami smiled. "No prob, bob."

"There you go again..._ who is Bob?"_

Nami laughed. "I'll tell ya later, big guy." They sat and talked as the night passed by.

Chopper was walking past the crow's nest on the way to the bathroom when he saw Zoro kiss Nami.

"Wait, Zoro and Nami?" he thought to himself, bewildered. "But I thought that Zoro and Robin were going..." A realization came over him. "He's a CHEAT!" he thought furiously. "I gotta tell Robin about this!!!" he dashed off towards the woman's quarters. Then, he dashed back. "But first, I gotta go!!!" he said to himself.

Chapter Twelve!!!!! Yes, I am evil. Just to let you know.


	14. Twotiming Threeswords

Disclaimer: Today, I do not feel like writing my own disclaimer. So I've hired Sanji to do it for me.

Sanji: AMAXING DOESN"T OWN ONE PIECE, CRAP-HEADS!!!!!

Thank you, Sanji.

Amaxing does not think that anybody who bothers to read his story is a crap-head.

Two-Timing Three-Swords

I never thought anything like it would happen on my ship.

Everyone on the Thousand Suns was supposed to be nakama, family for Chrissake. We were always supposed to be able to talk things out. After all, a captain is only as strong as his crew, and if my crew fights among themselves, that doesn't say much for me does it?

This is Luffy, by the way, if you didn't figure that out from the whole "my crew" and "captain" thing. I suppose I don't need to tell you, but I'd need to be told, so hey, might as well do you the...em...cartezy?...cortisone?...Curtis-z?...courtesy. That's the one.

It always seemed fun, talking to myself. Zoro does it a lot, but to tell the truth, I think he's a bit crazy. Then again, I've been told many times that anyone who sails as part of my crew has to be insane, so I guess that's to be expected, huh?

Anywho, back to the story. Where was I? Oh right, Nakama.

Nakama means Ohana. And Ohana means family. And family means people don't do what was about to happen.

Betrayal, Deceit, Fighting, _Murder_ for Chrissake. I tell ya, those days were tough. Franky, Usopp, and I were the only innocents. And by that I mean we couldn't _do_ anything. It was out of control. Dark days for the Straw Hat Pirates.

Some day I'll be King of the Pirates. But in those days, I wasn't even captain of my own crew...

Narration

When Robin slept, she often had dreams. On this particular night, she was dreaming about walking through the woods with a certain green-haired swordsman. As he leaned in to kiss her, Robin heard the distant rapping of a woodpecker. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. Then, he heard a voice yell "ROBIN!" She snapped back to reality. Chopper.

Chopper knocked on the door again. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. "ROBIN!!" he yelled. "Open up! It's important!!!"

Robin sighed... Even in dreams that swordsman never seemed to find time to kiss her... She dragged herself out of bed, crossed the room, and opened the door. Chopper came barreling into the room.

"Um...hello Chopper." Robin said delicately. He was obviously in a hurry to tell her _something._ But what was so important that it couldn't wait until morning? "Why...are you here?"

Chopper opened his mouth to tell Robin the terrible truth. That Zoro was a cheater. That he was secretly going out with Nami behind her back. But then he stopped, and thought about what he was about to say. This was possibly the most crushing thing he could ever and would ever tell her. He considered whether he should go through with it. _Yes."_ he thought to himself. _I'm her best friend, it's my job to protect her, even when it could break her heart._ He decided. But he couldn't bring himself to just tell her outright. It would have to be gentle.

"Chopper... why are you here?" asked Robin, when Chopper said nothing.

"Well..." Chopper began, not really knowing what to say. "Robin, you and I are friends right?"

"You came all the way over here to ask _that?" _ laughed Robin.

"Just answer the question."

Robin stopped. She had never seen Chopper so serious before. "Well, of course we are." she said.

"No matter what?" Chopper asked, smiling a nervous smile.

"Chopper...what did you _do?_ Robin asked, taken aback.

"_I_ didn't do anything!" Chopper defended.

"Then why ask such a question?"

"Well..."

"Chopper, WHY ARE YOU HERE???" Robin asked, worried.

"Well..." Chopper started "I was on my way to the bathroom, right?"

"o...k..."

"And I passed the crow's nest…"

"Did you say hello to Ms. Navigator?"

"Well...no... I didn't, there was someone else up there, so I couldn't go up there.

"Who was it?"

"Well... it was... Zoro." Chopper cringed. He _really_ didn't want to see Robin's reaction.

"Why are you doing that?" asked Robin, trying not to laugh.

"Well, Zoro was up there with Nami..."

"So? He has the right to talk to her whenever he wants, doesn't he?"

"Well yeah..."

"Then what's the problem?"

Chopper hung his head down. The big moment. The clincher. Chopper muttered an answer under his breath.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that, what did you say?"

"Well...he wasn't just talking up there..."

Robin was confused. What was Chopper going on about? "Then what was he doing?"

"Robin... he...he kissed her."

Robin froze. "He...did what? Where?"

"I don't know where, I just saw him lean over and..." Chopper looked up. Robin's face was like stone. Her years of working for secret organizations had trained her not to show emotion, but Chopper had his instinct. Robin was on the verge of tears, and he knew it. "Robin... I'm sorry," he said, feeling helpless. When saying sorry is the only thing you can do, helplessness is a very common feeling.

Robin struggled to keep a straight face, but inside she wept openly. Why? Why would he do this to her? She really thought that he... He had come so close to... He was _Zoro_ for Pete's sake. She knew that he could be cold sometimes but... she had never thought... _I'll kill him, _she thought angrily. _But he's __Zoro_ she told herself. Back and forth, she felt her emotions battle within her, but she held strong. She wasn't going to let him overpower her. Slowly, she reached out and held Chopper close. It was all the emotion she would show.

Roronoa Zoro woke up early the next morning. Unusual for him, but he had good reason to. The reason was that he felt like a million berries. He couldn't believe how lucky he was. He had the most beautiful woman he'd ever met as a girlfriend, he was on an island where there was nothing to do but party, and he had some of the best friends he could ever ask for. He certainly didn't feel demonic at all.

_I think I'll go see if Robin's up, _he said to himself. He sprung out of bed and skipped (Yes, _skipped, _it was a very bad day for Zoro's reputation)out to the deck of the Thousand Suns.

The first thing he noticed when he got to the door of the woman's quarters was that Nami was sleeping outside. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Nami looked at him groggily. "Well, I was _trying_ to sleep."

"Isn't that what a bed's for?" he asked, trying not to laugh.

"Usually, yes, but Robin wouldn't let me in for some reason."

"Really?"

"Well, no, let me put that differently. It's not that she wouldn't let me in she just seemed so… cold. It was creeping me out something terrible, so I came out here.

"Why would she do that? I thought she'd be happy after yesterday…" _I certainly was_. He thought to himself, grinning.

"Well you're her boyfriend, see if you can do anything about it."

"I will." he said, feeling a certain sense of duty rise within him. He knocked on the door. No response. He knocked again. Still no response. Zoro sighed. _Not _AGAIN he thought to himself. "It's Zoro," he said softly. He expected to hear a quick bustle as Robin tripped over things, ready to let him in and tell him everything. What he actually heard was a bit different. "SIXTEEN FLEUR CLUTCH!"

Sixteen hands appeared from nowhere and grabbed Zoro, bending him over backwards. _De ja vu_ he thought to himself. _The next thing she'll do is come out and yell at me for being a jerk._

What actually happened was slightly different. Robin came out all right, but she said nothing. Her face was as stone. She stared at Zoro for a moment, her eyes giving away absolutely no clue to the anger and sadness she was feeling.

"Em… Robin… this is kind of painful, could you let me down?" Zoro asked, hoping this was his girlfriend's strange, sadistic way of showing that she loved him.

No response. Cold, emotionless eyes bored through Zoro, leaving him feeling open, exposed. He fought the urge to shiver. What was going on?

"Robin… like I said… this is painful…"

"So?"

It was the simplicity of the answer that struck Zoro the most. He gave a quick, fleeting look to Nami to ask for help, only to find that she had gone. _Great_ he thought to himself _and just when I needed her too._

"Robin…"

"Yes, Mr. Swordsman?"

The pin dropped. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOU WOMAN?" he yelled, tenderness forgotten.

Robin actually smiled. "Now that's the Zoro I know." The hands disappeared; Zoro fell to the ground with a sickening 'Thud'. "Now, why don't you be a good little boy and run along, I'm sure you can find a nice girl to play with who's more suitable for you, hm?"

"WHAT THE… WHO THE… I'M NOT A FUCKING LITTLE KID!"

"Of course not, you're an adult who refuses to grow up."

"And what do you mean 'find another girl', I… I…" He wanted to say 'I love you'. He really did. But he couldn't. Even if it really was what he felt, even if every fiber in his body wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to say it. Call it stupidity. Call it masculinity. Call it the fact that he'd never said it to anyone before.

"You what?" Robin asked rhetorically. "You can't say it can you? You know why? Because you don't mean it. Your subconscious won't let you, because it's not how you really feel."

"But... But…"

"Just leave."

Zoro didn't move. "Robin… what's happened to you?" he asked, weaker than he'd ever said anything in his entire life.

Robin paused. And for a moment, she wanted to tell him the whole truth. Pour out her emotions over him, tell him how she felt betrayed, how she was hurt, and wanted to know the truth of what happened; how she hoped, nay, prayed, that it had all been just a misunderstanding, one they could simply laugh off and never think of again. But despite her feelings, she simply said, "I found out who my friends were. That's all." She went back inside and closed the door.

Zoro sat there for a minute. _What the f…_ He began to think, and then realization struck him. _Friend. Robin. Robin's best friend. Chopper._ Chopper had said something, done something, and now Robin hated him. He sprang up from where he sat and ran towards Chopper's office. _I'll _KILL_ that blue-nosed freak._ He thought. And he really meant it.

End of Chapter 13. It really is an unlucky number, isn't it? Also, to my readers, please don't kill me because it's another cliffhanger. Because then I wouldn't be alive to resolve it, would I?


	15. Conflict, Crisis, Calamity

Disclaimer: Gimme an I! Gimme a DONT! Gimme an OWN!! Gimme a ONE!!! Gimme a PIECE!!!! What's it spell? Figure it out.

Conflict, Crisis, Calamity

I never really liked Marimo-head right from the beginning.

It was probably because of the way that crap-swordsman treats women. Calling them witches, disrespecting them, even trying to _kill_ some of them, it was really the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life.

Don't get me wrong; there were a few things that I admired about the ol' green haired imbecile. I mean, anyone who goes up against the greatest swordsman in the world knowing he'll die deserves _some_ credit.

But it really just wasn't enough. I didn't trust the moron farther than I could throw him, and I don't use my hands all that much. That why, when the _incident_ between him and Robin happened, I wasn't exactly rushing to his defense...

Narration

Zoro pounded on Chopper's door. "TONY TONY CHOPPER!" he screamed. "LET ME IN NOW!!!!"

Chopper slowly creaked the door open. But it wasn't quick enough for Zoro. As soon as the door was open a crack, he slammed it the rest of the way, trapping Chopper between the door and the wall.

"CHOPPER!!!" he yelled. "CHOPPER WHERE ARE...Oh"

Chopper fell to the floor. He was bruised all over, and a giant bump formed on his head where the doorknob had struck it. Zoro laughed cruelly. "You deserve it you jerk," he said coldly.

"What the hell did _I_ do?He asked quickly.

I don't know _what_ you did exactly." said Zoro furiously "but you said _something_ to Robin and now she won't even talk to me anymore!"

"O _that._" Chopper said, surprisingly calm. "That's your fault. Robin's my friend, and I wasn't going to let her waste her life on some two-timing cheater like you."

"WHAT??" yelled Zoro, seething with anger, "WHAT IN GOD'S NAME MAKES YOU THINK I'M A CHEATER?!?!?"

"I"M NOT STUPID, Y'KNOW!!" Chopper yelled back, his anger building as he remembered how Robin had reacted "AND I'M NOT BLIND EITHER. I HAVE EYES, AND I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS WHEN TWO PEOPLE KISS!!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT????" Zoro asked in fury, his hand reaching towards _Yubashiri_.

"I SAW YOU!!! He screamed, changing into human form. "I SAW YOU KISS NAMI!!!!!!"

Zoro was silent for a minute. He _had_ done it, after all. But it hadn't meant anything; he and Nami both knew that. "That was... different."

"Wow, that's the best excuse I've heard all day," said Chopper, displaying a gift for sarcasm beyond his years.

"YOU'RE SUCH A NAIVE IDIOT!!" screamed Zoro, his temper brought on again by Choppers comeback. "DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT WHEN TWO FRIENDS..."

But Chopper had heard enough. _Zoro's crossed the line this time. _ He told himself. _I can't just sit back and watch anymore. _So, for the first time in his life, Chopper hit Zoro with all his might.

Zoro flew back. He smashed into the wall of the room and crumpled to the floor. The attack had taken him by surprise. Had Chopper really attacked him? It was like being suddenly savaged by your pet parakeet.

Zoro wasn't down for long. He drew _Yubashiri,_ its blade flashing in the light that poured into the room. He held the sword at Chopper's throat. "IF YOU EVER!!!!!" he threatened "DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN... I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!" and he stormed out of the room.

"OH YEAH!?" Chopper cried back. "WE'LL SEE WHO KILLS WHO!!!!"  
...

Zoro sat on the figurehead of the Thousand Suns, lost in thought. Luffy tried to get Zoro to move, but failed. Partly because Zoro didn't care, and partly because Zoro really wasn't listening. His mind was awhirl, trying to decipher the day's events.

Why did Robin hate him? _Chopper had said that she thought he cheated on her._ Why did Robin think that? _Because CHOPPER told her to. _Who's fault was this then? "CHOPPER!!" he screamed, not caring who heard him. He was so enveloped in anger he never had enough sense to look behind him, let alone hear what was going on.

Zoro felt the wind get knocked out of him. He saw himself slip off the figurehead, saw the water rush up to meet him, felt the water as he fell into it with a gigantic "Splash".

Zoro surfaced, and was about to yell at whoever had pushed him in, when he noticed the Thousand Suns sailing towards him. He began to swim away like mad, cursing silently whoever had pushed him in.

On the deck of the Thousand Suns, Sanji watched with amusement as Zoro swam for his life. "THAT WHAT YOU GET, CRAP-JERK!!" he screamed after him. He really didn't care if Zoro was run over or not. All he knew was that he had to make him pay, for Robin's sake, for Nami's sake, and for the sake of women in general. "Serves him right" he thought, not even trying to suppress the sadistic grin that began to creep across his face.  
...

After a while, Luffy returned to the front of the ship, seeing if Zoro would give him his seat back. To his delight, Zoro was gone. He quickly rushed to take his seat, but was greeted by a not-so-delightful sight. Zoro.

"OY! ZORO!" he yelled. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE??? IS THIS SOME KIND OF EXTREME WORKOUT PLAN?"

"I WAS PUSHED YOU IDIOT!!!!" Zoro sputtered as he swam furiously, trying to stay in front of the ship.

"Oh! Well I would hope so, what you're doing is kind of dangerous and stupid, even for you!" he chuckled.

"QUIT LAUGHING AND HAUL ME ABOARD YOU MORON!!!!" Zoro screamed, feeling his strength fade.

"Alright, alright." Luffy replied. He stretched his arm into the sea, grabbed Zoro, and hauled him up using the elastic force. As Zoro lay on the deck, panting and gasping for air, Sanji walked in (or out, as it were).

"Nice swim, crap-swordsman?" he asked, trying hard to suppress a smile.

"Shut up you..." Zoro began, but then realization swept over him. "IT WAS YOU!!!!!" he screamed, leaping up to attack Sanji "YOU PUSHED ME IN! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD!!" In any other instance, Zoro would have been quick enough and strong enough to avoid what was about to happen, but being tired from his "exercise", he slipped up.

"MOUTTON MALLET!!!!" Sanji screamed, and he nailed Zoro with a kick in the chest.

Zoro flew backwards, crashing against the side of the cabin. In fact, the only reason he didn't go through was because he was kicked against the galley, which was made of brick to prevent fires from spreading. But it still left a dent. Luffy took the opportunity to step out of the picture. Knowing Sanji was occupied, he went into the now-dented galley to steal food.

"NEVER MESS WITH A WOMAN'S HEART!!!" Sanji yelled at Zoro. He surveyed Zoro, who, quite frankly, looked pretty pathetic. "And to think, I thought you would've made Robin happy." He turned his nose up and went to the galley, where he promptly yelled at Luffy for stealing food.

Zoro just lay there, allowing the dust from the bricks to settle on top of him. He looked up at the stars, and yelled "WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME??" Then, for the first time since Kuina had died, he cried, his tears full of sadness, anger, and confusion.

Robin surveyed the events of the day from a distance. _Zoro's crying?_ she thought. She had never seen him cry before, let alone ever thought he was _capable_ of crying. She felt pity and sorrow accumulate in her heart. _Maybe he really does care..._A silent tear streaked down her cheek.  
...

Midnight on the Thousand Suns. Chopper was in his "office" making himself rumble balls, when he heard his door creak open slightly. He turned around.

"Hey man!" he said. "Look, I've been thinking and… I'm sorry for what I said earlier…" he began, embarrassed, but the glitter of blades on the moonlight stopped him. "What are you doing?" he asked, worriedly. "NO!"

ONI GIRI!!!!!!

Three slashes. A short, stifled cry. The attacker fled the room, leaving Chopper to die on the floor. Silence.

Chapter 14... Ouch.


	16. The Finding

Disclaimer: IN MEMORIAM T.T.CHOPPER, who I did not own, do not own, and never will own, along with any other One Piece related characters.

The Finding 

Just when I want to forgive him, he goes and does something stupid.

I guess I should have expected it, I mean, stupid always _was_ his forte. But, honestly, I thought that Zoro would have enough sense not to attack a girl's best friend, no matter how angry he gets, and _especially_ when he's trying to win her over.

Robin here. Zoro refuses to wake up, no matter how hard I shake him, so I guess I'll have to take over the story from here on out, is that O.K. Mr. Reader?

Hmm…where was I… ah yes, Chapter…15 I believe. The day we found Chopper in his…state. (Shivers) It still gives me chills when I think about it. My best friend, covered in blood and lying awkwardly on the floor, it was… disturbing. So it goes.

It did wonders for my emotions. By wonders, I mean that I really couldn't hold them back anymore. I mean, I'm good at not letting my feelings show, but even experts have their breaking point.

My best friend…

I'll tell you one thing. After countless foiled attempts to uncover the true history, I really had thought that I wanted to die that day in Alabasta. But, in reality, I never truly felt like dying until that day.

My best friend…

Narration 

At first, it had seemed like a normal morning. At 5:30, Luffy woke up and banged on Sanji's door, begging him to go make breakfast. At 6:10, Sanji has gotten tired of Luffy's begging and dragged himself out of bed and went to the kitchen. At 6:30, Usopp has shimmied down the crow's nest and traded shifts with Franky. He then went to his cabin to catch a few winks of sleep before breakfast. At 7:00, Sanji had rung the breakfast bell. Nami, Usopp, Ferrus, and Robin rolled lazily out of their beds and walked to the kitchen, while Franky scooted down the crow's nest and ran towards the sound. At 7:01, Sanji had kicked Luffy across the deck, telling him he wouldn't serve him any food until Nami-san and Robin-Chan had gotten there. Zoro, of course, slept through it all.

At 7:10, the Straw Hat Pirates were gathered in the galley, prepared to eat. It was then that the morning became abnormal. Chopper had not arrived yet. At 7:15, Luffy ran down to Chopper's bedroom (Sanji had told him that no one would eat until Chopper was there) but came back with a more-clueless-than-usual shrug. At 7:20, the Straw Hats searched the Thousand Suns, calling Chopper's name. Then, at 7:30, all hell broke loose.

The door to Chopper's office creaked open slightly. "Chopper?" inquired Usopp "Chopper, are you in th… O my God…" Usopp stared a moment, his eyes falling first on the red-stained floor, then on Chopper, then on the three sword-marks across Chopper's chest.

"AHHHH! He screamed "CHOPPER'S BEEN ATTACKED! CHOPPER'S BEEN ATTACKED! NAMI! LUFFY! ROBIN! HELP!! CHOPPER'S BEEN ATTACKED!!!!"

Usopp's voice carried across the deck of the Thousand Suns like…like…something that carries well. (Yeah, I'm tired I'll admit it.) The crew hurried to the spot where Usopp's voice was coming from. They all gasped. They all stared. Silence for a while.

"WE CAN'T JUST STAND HERE!" Luffy screamed finally. "LET'S _DO_ SOMETHING ABOUT IT! FOR ALL WE KNOW, THERE STILL MIGHT BE A CHANCE TO SAVE HIM! HELP ME!" The crew hurried into action. Usopp let go of Nami, who had been crying on his shoulder, and sprang forward, reaching for bandages, cloth, anything to stop the bleeding. Sanji quickly searched through Chopper's cabinets, pulling out healing salve. Franky picked Chopper up gingerly, placing him on his back and examining his wounds, and then helping Luffy bandage them.

Robin noticed three things about the current scene. One: Her best friend was either dead or dying. Two: He had been killed…_no, had been __attacked_ she told herself, not letting hope go, by three simultaneous sword strokes that formed an asterisk shape. Three: Zoro was not there. She didn't have to be the smartest one on the ship (even if she was) to figure out what had probably happened. As the rest of the crew quickly worked to save their friend, Robin left and searched for the green-haired man that she had once loved, but now hated more than anything in the world.

Zoro was not there for one reason and one reason alone. He was still asleep. It was only 7:30 after all; he never got up before noon unless there was a crisis. And even then sometimes he wouldn't wake up. At this particular moment he lay snoring on his bed, dreaming of defeating Hawkeye Mihawk. Robin cheered for him as the Shichibukai fell at his feat, and the on looking crowd acknowledged him to be the greatest swordman in the world. He looked up to the sky, and saw Kuina smiling at him. Then her image began to fade, as did everything around him. Slowly, he realized that he was unable to breathe. He jolted awake, unsheathed his swords, and slashed at whatever was suffocating him.

Robin gave a pained cry and the Hana-Hana hands disappeared from Zoro's throat. Zoro leaped out of bed, Wado Ichimongi pointed at Robin.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked, surprisingly calm.

"YOU BASTARD! was all she screamed. She held her hands up, prepared to ensnare Zoro yet again with her Eight Fleur Clutch, but Zoro was ready. He leapt forward, striking Robin with the handle of his swords, causing her to fall backwards.

"I'll ask again" he seethed, his temper rising. "What the _hell_ are you doing?"

"Exacting my revenge" was all she said.

Zoro flinched, confused. "What? What are you talking about?"

The moment's hesitation was all Robin needed. Two hands appeared at Zoro's wrist, wrenching his arm and causing him to drop Wado. Two other hands appeared at his waist and grabbed Yubashiri and Kitetsu III, seizing them as well.

Zoro gasped. He lunged forward, trying to grab the swords, but they swung at him. He leapt back, crashing through the door and out on to the deck.

Robin was not to be satisfied. She chased after Zoro, trying to hold him down with her Hana-Hana hands while trying to skewer him at the same time. Zoro kept fleeing, his feet always moving to dodge the appearing hands, his body always ducking and swaying to dodge the incoming attacks from his own swords.

Then he tripped. Although he did not fall, the pause was enough. Hands appeared at his ankles and held him in place. Robin simply smiled. _This is it._ She thought, anger and hatred consuming her common sense and mercy _I'll kill him. I'll _KILL_ him!_ She motioned with her hands, and then sent the swords flying at Zoro.

Zoro's survival instinct was screaming THIRTY POUND CANNON! Surely a blast of wind would knock the swords off course and give him time to reason with Robin. But for some reason, he didn't move. _She hates me _was the only thought running through his mind. Hurt and confused, Zoro simply stood, waiting.

The three blades buried themselves in Zoro. One in the right arm, one in the stomach, one in the left leg. Three wounds that, by themselves, would kill a normal man, but all at once… Zoro gasped in pain. He fell to the deck. As he lost consciousness, he remembered the shop owner's words in Roguetown. He smiled. "Certainly this counts as a tragic death." He said. Then all went black.

Robin gasped. What had she done? Why hadn't Zoro done anything to stop her? The sight of him collapsed on the floor purged her of hatred. She rushed over to Zoro, praying to God he was still alive. She felt his wrist, feeling for a pulse.

"Is he alive?"

Robin looked up, startled. Ferrus was there, standing over her.

"Oh…God…this, what just happened… you can't… I never meant to…"

"I understand. Chopper was your best friend after all."

A quick nod from Robin. "It was terrible you see," she said, tears suddenly streaming down her face. "Chopper… he'd always been there for me… and then all of a sudden he was… there…he wasn't moving…he was…" she gave out a short sob "the marks on his chest… they're Zoro's marks…from his _Oni Giri_ move… that means he…" She looked down, unable to speak. There was silence for a while. "I wanted to kill him…I really did…but now…I just…"

"You never answered my question, is he alive?"

Robin nodded. "Yes…Thank God."

"I thought you wanted to kill him."

"I _did._ But…I didn't. I guess I just assumed he'd overpower me and keep me at bay until my anger went away…that's why I wanted to kill him, but I didn't…"

"You're making no sense, how can s you want to kill someone and still want them alive?"

"I guess… that's… what love is."

There was silence for a while. Ferrus sighed. "Well, if _you're_ not going to kill him, I guess _I'll_ just have to instead."

Robin's head snapped up. "WHAT?"

"I suppose there's no point in me hiding any more." 'Ferrus' said, undoing the folds of his hood and throwing it back.

"You… you're…Mr. 1"

"Daz Bones, now that Baroque works is gone." Daz stared down at Zoro. "Ever since the day that boy defeated me… all I've wanted is revenge." Daz smiled sadistically. "And now, thanks to you Nico Robin, I can finally have it."

"NO!" Robin leapt at Daz's throat. Daz turned his neck into a sword, causing Robin's hands to be cut up. He brought his hand back, bringing it around so that it met Robin's stomach, sending her flying over the railing of the ship. Daz smiled, waiting for the splash. When it didn't come, he went over to the side of the ship, and found Robin climbing up a chain of Hana-Hana hands. He grabbed the chain, pulling it up so that Robin could hear him. Robin hung on for dear life, hoping to God that any second now, Zoro would come, the he would somehow miraculously wake up and slash this evil man to pieces. But he simply lay there. _It's ironic; yet fitting_ she thought_ that he wouldn't be able to rescue me because of what I've done to him…_ She was jarred out of her thoughts by the sharp pain she felt from Daz stabbing her hands.

"Please…Daz…" she begged "the quality of mercy is not strained…have mercy on us…"

"My deeds upon my head!" Daz taunted back. "I crave my revenge." He grabbed Robin's wrist, pulling her off the ship so that she hung helplessly over the ocean. "One more thing before you drown… I killed Chopper."

Robin lashed out at him, but it was too late. Daz flung her out into the ocean. He cackled insanely as the water rushed up to meet her.

Chapter 15. Finished. I LOVE CLIFFHANGERS! But apparently no one else does so once again I ask your forgiveness. The end is near. Whose end? If I told you, that'd be a bit of a spoiler not wouldn't it?


	17. Incident

Disclaimer: Who's that man…who doesn't own One Piece…? It's Amaxing. _IT'S AMAXING!_

Incident _Daz_

Daz Bones turned to face his victim, the feared, demonic Roronoa Zoro. He smiled, it was almost ridiculous how easy it had been. "That's what you get for going soft." He told Zoro in a harsh whisper.

"Tell me about it."

Daz's head whipped down to look at Zoro. The former pirate hunter simply grinned.

"You should be dead."

"I've been dead before, it's overrated."

"Then you won't mind going back, will you?"

"If I can take you with me, then yeah, I won't mind."

Daz actually laughed. "What, are you going to kill me? You can barely talk, let alone move. I doubt you can even pick up one sword right now, let alone three."

It was Zoro's turn to laugh. "Be careful what you wish for you tin can, it might come true."

Daz Bones chuckled softly. Witty banter, even now. Truly, the green-haired swordsman was either remarkable or stupid. Probably both. He reprimanded himself. This was no place for admiration, not when he was so close to claiming his revenge. "Well, there's no point in prolonging the inevitable I suppose." He placed his arm on Zoro's neck, and then lifted it to strike. "Any last words?" he said, always being one for clichés.

"I'll see you in hell" was Zoro's response. He could pull off clichés too.

Daz laughed softly, then swung.

Robin 

The wind whipped through Robin's raven colored hair as she fell towards the sea. She noticed that Daz had already turned around, not bothering to check whether she had perished or not. _Typical bad guy_ she thought _it's almost cliché._ She sighed, then, just before she hit the water, she cried out "CIEN FLEUR WING!"

One hundred hands sprouted from Robin's back in the shape of wings. She struggle, her weight fighting against the makeshift wings. She pulled out of the dive, soaring back to the ship. Being the incredibly intelligent woman she was, of course she had an idea. She saw Zoro about to die and flew right over him. She saw Zoro smile, heard him taunting Daz, even at death. _Typical_ she thought, as she soared by.

Chopper 

Tony Tony Chopper woke with a start. The first thing he saw was the faces of his crew leaning over him.

"Well, he certainly heals quick doesn't he?" said Usopp.

"Yeah, he was all but dead five minutes ago, and now he's just super!" Franky chimed in.

"I'll beat that crap-swordsman to death." Sanji said, gritting his teeth.

"Wha…" Chopper stuttered "What happened?"

"We found you on the floor, bleeding!" Luffy said, never one for tact.

"Three simultaneous swords strokes in the shape of an asterisk… that can only mean one thing…" Nami said.

"NO!"

"Huh?" The entire crew looked at Chopper puzzled.

"It wasn't Zoro."

"Wha…" Nami began "Then who…"

"Where's Robin?"

"She went looking for…"

But Chopper didn't hear the rest. He was out of the office, running the deck faster than any man…reindeer near death ever should be able to. "I have to warn them!" He thought frantically. "I have to save them from that maniac!"

Zoro 

Time seemed to slow for the swordsman. Daz's arm slowed, becoming blurry with the sudden time-stop, and Zoro was lost in his thoughts.

_Robin was safe. _ That was the first thought. He had seen her flying over head, and it had brought him comfort to know that she was alright. That thought's brother, however, brought him anger. _Why isn't she doing anything to rescue me??_ The thought enveloped him, filling him with rage and sadness. Then, in the back of his mind, another tiny thought itched at his mind.

Who's going to take care of my bees?? 

As if on cue, a loud buzzing sound snapped Zoro out of his thought. He looked up at Daz, and doubled over in laughter.

Daz 

As Daz Bones brought his arm down on Zoro's neck, two thoughts raced through his mind. The first one is so pointlessly redundant that it shouldn't even be typed, but it went along the lines of _my revenge, I finally have my revenge, all hail revenge, revenge!!_ Well, you get the idea. The second thought, more of aninkling really, was this: _What the heck is that buzzing sound? _It was only then, in his blind fury that he realized that he had become covered in honey, and that a swarm of angry honeybees was about to close in on him.

Robin 

Robin's plan had been simple enough. _Distract him._ Not exactly an elaborate or well thought out plan, but a good enough one as it turned out. So Robin had gone to the one place she was sure to find a distraction. The hives. She landed on the glass (or whatever material it was) greenhouse and quickly overturned all the hives. _Zoro will kill me for that._ She thought. _Then again, if I don't do this, Zoro won't be _alive_ to kill me._ The irony of the thought made a smile play across her lips. _Enough of that _she thought, snapping back into action. She quickly used her Hana-Hana hands to grab as many honey jars as possible, using them to lure the bees out onto the deck.

Daz Bones' arm was at the top of its arc now, and was quickly closing in on Zoro's neck. There was no more time. She focused; aim was everything now. Then, she threw the honey jars at Daz Bones. The sweet substance landed on him with a satisfying plop.

Daz didn't notice at first. But when the swarm of bees was upon him, ignorance was not an option. He fell back, swatting at the angry bees. One would think that a man smart enough to trick his way on to his enemies' pirate crew and orchestrate an internal crisis would be intelligent enough to turn hi body to metal to stop him from being stung. Such is not the case, however. Robin simply watched in amusement as Daz was stung over and over, and with pleasure when Zoro pulled himself up off the deck.

Zoro 

The sight of Daz Bones being stung by his bees brought two thoughts to Zoro's mind. One: _That Robin, she really is a smart one. _Two: _THAT ROBIN! I'LL KILL HER FOR TREATING MY BEES LIKE THIS!!_ But that was for a later time.

Zoro dragged himself off the floor. He yanked the swords out of him, the pain barely registering. He crouched, crossed his swords, and then yelled. "ONI GIRI!" Three quick slashes formed a star-shape on Daz's chest. Daz would have fallen right there, had there not been someone there to catch him.

Chopper 

Chopper was relieved to see Robin alive. He was equally relieved to see Daz being stung over and over, and Zoro getting up to finish him. _Sorry Zoro_ He thought _but this is personal._ He wasn't there soon enough to stop Zoro from attacking, but he was there to catch Daz before he fell. It sounds romantic, but the next thing Chopper did dispelled any possible rumors.

"This is for trying to kill me, and endangering my friends." He growled, morphing into his 'gorilla' form. He lifted Daz up and heaved him over the side. A loud splash was the only evidence he needed. The deed was done.

Robin walked up the side, checking to see that Daz truly was gone. Then she turned to Zoro. Nothing was said or hinted at, but Chopper decided that now would be a good time to leave. He smiled slightly, and then ran towards the office. If he were one of his patients, he'd kill himself for not resting after such a serious injury.

General 

"Zoro…" Robin began. "I have…a lot of explaining to do."

"Apparently, so do I, though I'm not sure what about."

Robin laughed. Typical Zoro. A minute ago, he was almost dead, and now he was standing, moving, wisecracking as if nothing had happened. "Right…" she began. "I guess I should…"

Zoro grabbed her arm. "Later" was all he said. He pulled her in and kissed her. At first, Robin was so surprised, she didn't move at all. But she soon found herself kissing him back, deepening it, sighing, holding on to him for dear life. After a while (long enough for all the Straw Hats bar Chopper to find them and stare) they broke apart. There were wolf-whistles, sobs (from Sanji), and cheers. Zoro looked at Robin. Robin looked at Zoro. She simply smiled her mysterious smile. He simply grinned.

It was the only thing they needed to do to tell each other.

Fin.


	18. Epilogue

Disclaimer: Same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was. (I don't own One Piece.)

Epilogue 

Zoro: That about covers it, right?

Robin: I don't know, I kind of thought the ending was a bit rushed…

Zoro: HEY! Don't look at me! That's the narrator's fault!

Robin: Zoro, honey, there's no one else here…

Zoro: Wha… but I could've sworn…

Robin: Nope (shakes head, smiles mysteriously).

Zoro: Well…oh, fine… CUE THE END CREDITS MUSIC!!!!

Robin: (rolls eyes)

End credit music plays. 

Chopper healed within the week following the incident.

He is currently working on a 'wonder medicine' to cure all disease, as well as a way to look through suspicious people's hoods. Only the first is actually plausible.

Luffy is currently still sailing the grand line. His pirate crew is once again like a family, albeit one that thinks he's a complete idiot. A statement that hold true of his real family as well.

Usopp's nose is still long.

Usopp: HEY!!

He is currently trying to install himself as the crews official "Dance Instructor."

Usopp: A WAP BOP A LOO BOP!!!!

(Silence)

Usopp: O, C'MON, WORK WITH ME PEOPLE!

Nami is still a greedy witch-woman.

Sanji: NAMI-SAN IS NOT A WITCH WOMAN!!

She has recovered from the incident extremely well, and now spends her time making charts and talking about the weather.

Sanji is still a love-struck fool.

Sanji: AND DAMN PROUD OF IT, CRAP-SWORDSMAN!

He is currently an idiot. (Even more so than Luffy.)

Sanji: I HEARD THAT!!!!!

Zoro recovered from his injuries within an hour. His bees recovered within the day. He is currently dating the most beautiful woman in the world.

Robin: Oh, hush.

Robin is currently humble. We'll see how long that lasts.

EIGHT FLEUR CLUTCH!

Apparently, not very long. Ow…

Fin. (for real)


End file.
